Heartless
by dbrianne
Summary: 2 months had passed. 2 painfully long months, but I knew that this was how it had to happen. The others, well they had to believe he was dead. They had to think that for the first time in his whole existence that he'd finally lost... but that was just it... Peter Pan never loses. Never.
1. Chapter 1

2 months had passed.

2 painfully long months, but I knew that this was how it had to happen. The others, well they had to believe he was dead. They had to think that for the first time in his whole existence that he'd finally lost... but that was just it... Peter Pan never loses. Never. I stand in the middle of the dark, damp cave in silence as I watch the man in front of me. He's older than me, and radiates power even though he shouldn't have any. I take a silent step forward, my bare feet lightly grazing the damp stone beneath me. This man had died... many months ago, but he didn't die alone. The man killed his father, and himself in an attempt to save others. This man killed his father... a man that looked like a boy until moments before his death. But even I knew that Peter wasn't gone... and neither was the man in front of me. I made sure of that when he left with the ship that sailed away into the night. I made sure that if anything happened... anything at all that Peter would be safe. I freeze in place when I see the man stir in his sleep ever so slightly. He does not awaken, and he will not for a few days, but I was still fearful. I do not know much about the man in my presence, but I know not to mess with him. I don't flinch when I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I instead, invite it. I lean back ever so slightly before I feel his breath against my neck. His hauntingly cruel chuckle echoes in my ear as he too watches the man in front of us. He kisses my neck lightly before I dare to speak.

"Who is he?"

I ask him as he kisses the side of my head gently.

"You already know."

He whispers carelessly in response, as his grip on me tightens.

"He'll wake soon."

I state almost silently as his chuckle is once again heard, and this time it sends shivers up my spine.

"I know..."

He rasps.

"... You've done a good job my little flower."

His voice is sweet, and intoxicating. Delicious, and poisonous... just as it's always been. His time away from me, and this place didn't change that. I turn to look at him, my eyes meeting his smirk before I see anything else. He looks to be about 17, and is one of the most handsome boys I've ever seen, but he isn't just a boy... no.. he's vicious when he wants to be. Manipulative, sweet, and down right villainous. I don't know how I've managed to stand by his side for this long, and somehow manage to stay out of the way. Almost no one knew about me on the island except him, and Felix.

"I did as you told me."

I whisper in response to his previous words of praise... I had almost forgotten that he'd said anything... I was too distracted by his face, and that smirk.

"Of course you did."

He states this smugly as I sigh looking from him to the ground of the cave. It's cold in here, and yet when he moves forward to touch me all I feel is heat.

"Don't get arrogant with me Peter Pan."

I state almost bitterly as he chuckles.

"Don't talk back to me Tigerlily."

I narrow my eyes at him before tucking some of my long black hair behind my ear. I don't want to fight, not when I'd just got him back. He's the king of Neverland, and I feared him more than anything else in this world. I glance over my shoulder to look at the man still laying on the ground.

"What is his name?"

I knew who the man was, but I didn't know his name...

"Rumpelstiltskin."

He states simply as more chills seem to move through me.

"Your son is the dark one?"

It shouldn't surprise me. Peter Pan wasn't an easy person to live with, and I couldn't imagine he was any better at being a father... Maybe with a childhood like that anyone would turn to darkness. Being abandoned wasn't something that people took lightly.

"Yes, turns out he grew up to be something after all."

He states this as though he's proud, but all it does is infuriate me.

"He is your son..."

I state turning back to face him.

"... Do you not care for him at all?"

I ask as he chuckles, he finds my displeasure to be funny.

"If I cared for him, my little flower, I would've used his heart to enact the curse, not Felix's."

I feel my eyes widen when he says this... He used his most loyal lost boy to start a curse? A curse that didn't even need to be started? I look at him and feel like I could burst with anger.

"You are without a doubt the most cowardly person I have ever met."

I state through clenched teeth, but I regret it the second I say it. I can see how his green eyes seem to grow a shade darker, and his jaw clenches ever so slightly. He moves his hands to my body quickly before pushing me up against the wall of the cave, knocking the wind out of me. It all happened so quick that I didn't even have time to process it.

"Do you want go in a cage too? Just like Wendy huh? Is that what you want?"

I glare up at him as his smirk grows, and his eyebrows raise ever so slightly. Once again this is a game to him.

"At least when she was locked away she didn't have to deal with you..."

My words sound like venom when I say them, and I know I've struck a nerve. He lets go of me, but doesn't move from my side.

"...At least she got away from you, along with the other boys. I only wish Felix saw through you the way the others did."

I hold myself feeling bruising from his prior touch, but I don't know why it bugs me... this isn't the first time he's been rough with me. His chest rises and falls in a steady pattern before he reaches out to touch me again. His right hand wraps around my jaw as he guides me to look up at him.

"You will not speak to me like that..."

He states through clenched teeth.

"... You forget that I'm still in charge, and I won't let anyone speak that way to me."

He closes the small gap between us his body pressing against mine, and his hand still wrapped around my jaw. It isn't the first time he's been close to me... I can still remember all of our secret nights when he'd come looking for me. His little secret flower blooming in the moonlight... this wasn't the first time he's touched me, or made me angry. We had a history, and it haunts me to this very day. He leans in slowly before pressing his lips to mine. He is slow, and sweet in his touches, but I know he's only doing this to distract me. To rid my mind of the anger, to get the spark raging inside of me once more. He knew I missed him, and that I missed his lips. He lets go of my jaw after a few seconds as the kiss deepens ever so slightly. But after a few more seconds he stops before pulling back to look at me, there isn't an expression on his face, but I can still read him. He's going to leave me again. He takes a step back from me, and I sigh looking at the ground once more.

"Do you regret it?.."

I ask.

"... Do you regret killing Felix?"

He sighs.

"No. I did what I had to survive. He was just part of that."

I close my eyes when he says this feeling my throat ache and sadness fill me completely. Felix was the only person I've ever spoken to since coming onto the island... well other than Peter. I feel a tear run down my cheek, but when I open my eyes I am alone again. I look around the cave and sigh before sliding down to the ground, my back brushing the cave wall. I look at Rumpelstiltskin, and cry because I know no once can hear me. In this moment I am alone with my thoughts... and none of them are even close to lovely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

My eyes are closed, but I can still see the flickering of a light. Wherever I am it's warm, much warmer than the cave I was in. I feel like there are blankets covering me, wrapping me in a cocoon of warmth. I open my eyes slowly, out of fear. Now that I've gotten the sleep I needed I felt on edge, and overly aware of my surroundings. My eyes dart around where I am laying, and feel slightly relieved when I see that it's simply the place I've stayed hidden for the last few years I've spent here. My little home away from home was in a secluded place, safe from the others. I sigh sitting up slowly in my bed looking around cautiously.

"Are you frightened of me little flower?"

He emerges from the shadows of my room, directly across from me. When I see him I feel my breathing stop, and my body freezes in place. I shake my head, but I know that every muscle in my body is betraying me. He can see the way my body tenses, and how chills are emerging on every inch of visible flesh. His arms are folded across his chest, and I can't help it... I look at his hands... the hands that killed people... innocent people. I feel sick to my stomach when I think back on everything that has happened... Felix being dead... it just felt like a constant burning in my heart. I just want to snap my fingers and undo all the damage that had been done, but just when I feel like I'm about to start crying again, his voice brings me back to reality. A reality that I am still on his island, under his control, and that Peter Pan didn't tolerate weakness... Not when he was around anyway.

"Are you really going to ignore me? After I brought you back to your nice warm little house?"

I sigh.

"Why did you bring me back here?"

I ask in an attempt to avoid his question about being fearful of him. He didn't need to know the truth, even though I was sure he already knew. His smirk grows and he cocks an eyebrow.

"I left you there to watch over him. I didn't want him to wake alone, but then I thought about what he may do to you, and I couldn't have anything bad happen to you."

My jaw sets at his words.

"I shouldn't have been surprised that you'd leave me there..."

I pause for a second, my eyes trailing up and down his body.

"... It's what you're good at... abandoning people for your own selfish needs."

He chuckles.

"Ouch. Was that supposed to hurt love? Because it didn't... not even a little bit."

He looks amused as I ease up on how tense I am while I sit on my bed in front of him. I may be afraid of him, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me like this. Seeing me react like all the others... coiling in fear and bending to his power.

"Of course it wouldn't hurt you Peter, you haven't got a heart."

I state this angrily as he rolls his eyes, his jaw setting.

"If I didn't have a heart would I be able to care for you?"

His words to anyone would else would sound like music... a perfect harmony manipulated and contorted to his devilish smirk, but to me they sounded like another one of his games. He was good at using my emotions to get what he wanted out of me, him being alive and well was the perfect example of that. I brought him back... just as I had brought back his son.

"The only person you care for is you. You don't even care about your family, or your beloved lost boys."

His grin grows.

"You know that's not true."

He takes a few steps towards the end of my bed resting his hands along the bed post. He hasn't been in my bedroom for a few months, but suddenly it felt wrong having him in here. I always knew that he was more evil than he looked, but I never dreamed he'd end up like this... His eyes trail my body before he meets my gaze.

"I never got the chance to thank you for helping me... for bringing me back."

I breathe in and out in silence as he walks around the end of my bed and dares to sit right in front of me.. only inches away.

"I don't need your thanks. I did as I promised, I owed it to you."

He chuckles darkly leaning in ever so slightly... and my breathing hitches.

"Is that the only reason you did it? Because I said so?"

His voice drips with a poison more venomous than dreamshade. I know of what he's implying, but I don't wish to speak of it. Peter pan's always sought the heart of the truest believer, but he wanted more than one heart. He seemed determined to have mine as well, but I didn't know why... perhaps it was another one of his games that he was determined to win. Owning my heart seemed to be a prize he wanted for himself. A trophy that proves I'm the same as everyone else... That I too am a puppet he controls.

"Of course Peter... what other reason would there be?"

He turns his head to the side still smirking at me, he leans in ever so slightly and brushes his lips against mine.

"Don't play dumb, especially when you're the furthest thing from it."

He breathes against my lips, not moving, and our tension reaches an all time high. My eyes flutter shut when he moves his lips against mine and hand are quick to guide me back into my bed. We hadn't been this close in months, and how could we be? He'd become so obsessed with the heart of the truest believer that we almost never saw each other. He only came to me when he wanted to be sure that if anything happened to him that there was a way he'd come back. He only came to me when he wanted something... At this thought I pull away from him, breaking our kiss, and my eyes open.

"What do you want Peter?"

I ask trying to catch my breath, his brow furrows in confusion for a moment.

"I wanted to thank you my little flower. To thank you for doing as I asked."

I move my eyes from his, finding comfort in the room around me. I couldn't bare to look at him any longer.. that smirk was driving me mad.

"You're welcome."

I whisper keeping my eyes from his. He sighs moving a hand to grasp my chin before forcing me to look at him.

"Are you angry with me?"

He asks amused. I look at him in disbelief.. of course I was mad at him. He'd not only killed his friend and mine, but he'd managed to ruin the lives of other people... his son included. I watch him in silence for a few seconds, how could someone so beautiful be this way? Why did he treat everyone like they were a pawn? Surely there was something he loved.

"Are you really as heartless as you act?"

I ask not caring if he got mad at me. His eyebrows raise, and his eyes move from my face to my body which he is still straddling. He sighs.

"I'm a complicated person Tigerlily."

He breathes out as we lock eyes.

"I know this..."

I whisper.

"...You've done awful things Peter. Do you ever just sit and think about it? You abandoned your son, and tried to steal the heart of your great grandson all for the sake of staying young forever. Complicated doesn't even begin to cover it."

His jaw clenches tightly as his gaze intensifies.

"My complications never stopped you did they my little flower? If it truly bugged you, I wouldn't be here."

I nod because he's right. I knew all of this before it had happened, but I still helped. I still helped because I cared about the man behind the monster facade he's created. Peter Pan isn't who he's always been, and that's why I did all of this... I had hope that somehow, even though he's been gone for a couple hundred years, he would change.

"You're right..."

I pause as victory flickers across his face, and a smugger smirk taunts me.

"... I let my heart cloud my judgment..."

I state this looking away from him as moves from me. My response isn't what he thought it would be. He stays close, but not as close as before. His body no longer touching mine.

"... Maybe I should take a page from your book..."

I lock eyes with him once more as we breathe in tension fill unison.

"... Maybe I should be heartless like you."


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm not heartless."

He states through clenched teeth, his eyes narrowing as he studies me. Our breathing is barely audible, and I don't know what to say back. I know that if I say anything it might anger him more... and that wasn't my intention.

"I'm sorry."

I whimper knowing that if I want to live I needed to not get him angry with me. I finally allow myself to look at him, and really look. He looks vulnerable because of my words, and a bit angry. I don't know if anyone has ever dissected his problems like I have, but I knew he didn't like it. He brings his lips down to the side of my head where he gives me a kiss before whispering in my ear.

"I have a question for you..."

He states completely over looking my previous words.

"...Why did you bring back my son when I only told you to only bring me back if anything happened?"

I look at Pan and sigh... I knew a lot happened in Storybrooke, but when Peter died... I felt it. I felt the dagger pierce me just as it had with him. I felt the connection also when Rumpelstiltskin stabbed himself. I don't know why I felt that connection or the burning desire to help them both, but I did.

"I did it because I felt for him... Just as I felt for you. Two lost boys in the world... doing whatever they could for self preservation. I wanted to give you both a chance at living again, and I knew there was a chance that you wouldn't like it, because I went against your rules, but at the time it didn't matter to me. I just wanted to do what was right."

He nods taking in my words, and allowing them to really register with him. He rests a hand on my face before leaning in to give me another kiss. I kiss him back, but the process doesn't go on for too long. I feel something tug at my heart, and I can't help, but break the kiss. I gasp and look down as I see that his hand is reaching for my heart pulling it out of my body. I grasp his shoulder with my right hand and look at him wide eyed as he literally holds my heart in his hands.

"That's the thing I've always loved about you my dear sweet Tiger Lily... you've always had such a lovely heart..."

He pauses his eyes trailing me up and down as he smirks again. He pulls away, his body no longer straddling mine. I fall to my side, landing on the bed as I watch him helplessly. He sits up in my bed and reaches underneath it revealing a small chest. He waves his hand over it, and it opens for him. He puts my heart in the chest before waving his hand over it again sealing it inside. He places the chest on the floor where he'd had it before.

"... But if you don't do as your told, you don't deserve it."

I lay there in shock... I have no idea what's just happened.

"Peter please."

I whimper as he chuckles.

"Oh I do love it when you beg..."

He watches me intently still sitting in front of me.

"...But bad girls get punished. If you prove that your worthy of your heart, I'll give it back to you."

He bites down on the bottom of his lip as I attempt to sit up, but fail. He smirks wider before turning from me, and getting up from my bed.

"Don't strain yourself little flower. I'll be back in no time."

I watch him helplessly as he walks away from me. I don't know where he's going, but there isn't a way for me to follow him. My breathing is uneasy as I try to sit up once more, this time I'm more successful. I run my hands over my chest, feeling chills go up my spine when I don't feel a heartbeat. How was I alive without a heart? I get up from my bed feeling anxious from everything that happened. He took my heart... how could he take my heart? How could he do that to me after all I'd done for him? I move to the fire in attempt to feel something... anything. I didn't know if it was because he took my heart or if I was traumatized... I feel empty without my heart. I run my hands through my long black hair... I watch the embers as they burn feeling lifeless. The only sound I can hear is my breathing, but my thoughts were all over the place. I don't know how long I stand in front of the fire, but I know that I need to get out. My little house was seeming to grow smaller the longer I stood inside. I walk across the ground, my bare feet brushing dirt with each step I take. I feel like I can't breathe, and it's not until I am outside my little home that I feel like I can again. I walk through the grass finding comfort in the nature that never land has to offer. I don't remember a time when I didn't live here... I knew my ancestors lived here many years ago, but I didn't always. I don't remember my parents... not anymore. Never land seemed to be a good place for distraction, and it was easy to forget the world in a place where time stood still. I weave my way through the forest until I reach the clearing that leads to the water. I've always felt comforted by the water, and all I could do was hope that it would make me feel better again. I sit at the edge of the beach, and put my legs in the water. I need to calm myself down, but I didn't know if I could after what just happened. I want to start crying, and I know I should be after everything that happened, but I can't. I don't feel anything... I still feel empty, and numb. I bite down on the bottom of my lip... I don't know why I don't feel anything, but I know it's because of Peter.

"Did I tell you that you could leave?"

His voice echos off the water when he speaks. I don't look at him, I instead, keep staring at the water. He sighs before walking forward. I can hear him walk across the grass until he reaches me, and when he does I look at him.

"I needed air."

I tell him before looking back at the water. Looking at him should've made me mad, but I still felt nothing. He sits down next to me looking out at the water with me. It was moments like this that made me almost forget how vicious he could be, moments like this he seemed human... just like he was when I first met him. I look at him out of the corner of my eye and find that he is doing the same.

"I don't feel anything."

I whisper as I turn my face to look at him, and a small smirk flickers across his face.

"That usually happens when you don't have a heart. You become numb..."

He pauses reaching out to touch me, his hand on my knee.

"...You are in my control completely."

I sigh as he gestures for me to move in a bit closer, which I do without question.

"Why did you do it?"

I ask him as he pulls me in against him and I rest my head against his chest as he holds me. I know that I shouldn't be anywhere near him, but I feel like I have to do as he asks.

"You wanted to be heartless love, so I gave you what you wanted."

I pull myself forward and glance back at him.

"So you pulled my heart from my chest? How could you?"

I ask knowing that if I had my heart I'd be a complete mess... but fortunately for him and me... I am cold.

"This doesn't change anything..."

He states looking down at me with a cocked eyebrow.

"...It doesn't change how I feel about you."

I don't know what to say back, but my silence doesn't seem to concern him. He leans forward pressing his lips to mine, and his hands cup my face.

"Why do you do this...?"

I ask when the kiss is broken and he rests his forehead against mine.

"...Why do you say such sweet words, when you don't mean them?"

He sighs.

"How do you know I don't mean them? I've always treated you differently than I treat the others. I gave you a nice little home, and I've protected you from anyone who I viewed to be as a threat. You know I mean them Tiger Lily."

I want to believe him, but I feel like I can't.

"How do I know you weren't just using me because you knew that I had the ability to save you if someone hurt you. You probably only let me think you cared because you wanted something from me, you manipulated me just as you have with almost everyone else."

He watches me with a smirk as I tell him my theories. It's as if he knows something I don't... I want to ask him, but I don't. I look away from him because I don't know what else there is to say. No one could change Pan's mind when it was made up. The second I look away his grip on me tightens slightly. His at this moment that I feel a thought flicker through my head, but it isn't a regular thought... it feels almost like a memory... a memory from many years ago...

The house was quiet, but the outside traffic was loud. The hustle and bustle of the town only seemed to grow when night reached us. I sigh as I run my hands over my apron as I stand in the kitchen making dinner. My husband works late at the pub, and while he is only 20 he does his job well. He's been there for over a few months, but I knew his boss was fond of him... but his constant working made me lonely... I wish I had another person to talk to and spend time with. I have been alone all day, and I was excited to see him when he got home. I stare out the window of our little flat that resides above the pub where he works, and watch as the carriages all move through the streets of London. It keeps my mind off of the wait. When he comes home just after midnight he smells of liquor... he does drink, but never enough to warrant this kind of smell. He seems tired when he walks through the front door, and anger is written all over his face.

"Malcolm?"

I ask from the window as I glance over my shoulder to meet his gaze. Malcolm had problems with gambling, and never seemed to be able to turn down playing a game. Sometimes it was my favorite thing about him, but on nights like tonight I could see that it was bringing out the worst in him. Malcolm never liked to loose, never.

"What's wrong? I know that look, somethings bugging you."

I come away from the window after I turn to face him. He closes the door behind him and breathes in a deep sigh.

"It's been a long night."

He states taking small steps into the room. I walk until I meet him in the middle of our living area.

"I'm sorry..."

I whisper as I reach for him,placing my hands on his chest while I look up at him.

"...I made you your favorite dish for dinner."

He gives me a small smile when I say this.

"How did I get lucky enough to come home to you?"

He asks leaning in to press his lips to mine.

"Maybe a fairy granted my wishes, and finally gave me a real man."

I smile up at him as he raises his eyebrows with a small smirk.

"Fairies, and magic aren't real Amalia."

He kisses me once more before he pulls away, walking to where I prepared food earlier.  
>"How do you know that? Do you have proof?"<p>

I ask him giggling as he grabs a bowl and starts pouring himself some of the stew I've prepared. He glances over his shoulder and watches me as I walk forward.

"What has you in such a playful mood? First you've made me my favorite food, and now your giggling."

I look at him and sigh, he's always seen through me. We'd met when we were both only 17 years old, and from the beginning we'd had a connection.

"I wanted to talk to you about something I've been thinking about..."

I pause as reaches for the proper silver wear before turning to me and giving me his full attention. I was afraid of this conversation... we'd never talked about children, but lately I was alone all the time, and I felt like now was the perfect time for us to start a family.

"... I wanted to ask you about maybe starting a family."

I look at the ground suddenly nervous. I hear him breathe in another deep sigh along with the sound of his bowl being put down on the table next to him.

"Amalia... I was never meant to be a father."

He whispers as I glance up from the ground and meet his gaze. I move my hands to hold myself and nod. I shouldn't be surprised given his background with his own parents... he was abandoned by his parents when he was really small, and lived in an orphanage until he was old enough to work.

"I understand..."

My voice comes out in a barely audible whisper as I state this in disappointment. As I turn from him, I want to cry feeling frustrated with myself. I should've known better.

"... I'll let you eat your dinner. I need to wash up anyway."

I give him a small smile, but I can tell that he's not happy with the situation. I don't say a word as I walk away from him, turning down the hallway that is just off the dinning area. I want to cry, but I don't until I am safely tucked inside our room. I close the door, and move to our bed. I cover my mouth to muffle the sound of my crying as tears move down my face. I had no reason to be angry, but I found that I was. He got to work all day, and spend time with others, playing games, and gambling, but here I was at home alone all day. I wanted a child, and I wanted someone who I could take care of and love... not that I don't love my husband, but I wanted to feel complete, and it broke my heart that he didn't want the same. I lay in bed holding myself tightly, and I do this for several minutes, crying in silence. I only stop crying when I hear the bedroom door open and footsteps are heard. The bed dips down on his side as he lays down next to me. He wraps his arm around my waist.

"I didn't mean to make you cry my little lily..."

He whispers kissing the back of my head.

"...Please don't cry."

His voice is soothing when he speaks.

"I'm sorry."

I mumble as he holds me closer.

"Don't be sorry... If you want a family..."

He pauses as I glance back at him.

"...Then let's have a family."

I feel chills go up my spine when I come out of my own thoughts. What was that? A memory? It felt so real... it felt like I was reliving something. My gaze is still not meeting his as he reaches forward wrapping his hand around my jaw before forcing me to look up at him. When our eyes meet I know he can see the tears in my eyes... I may not have a heart, but the memory of feelings was enough to give me the illusion that I had a heart once again. He looks confused when he sees the tears, but he doesn't ask for me to explain. I tremble suddenly feeling cold as I realize that the man from my memory is the same person holding me in his arms. This man was my husband... he was the love of my life...

"Malcolm?"

I whisper in question as his eyes widen... the name haunts him, and I can see it in his eyes. He nods without a word passing his lips, and he guides his lips to mine. When kisses me I feel a flicker of a memory... something that validates that this is the same man from my memories.

"You remember..."

He whispers against my lips.

"... You remember my name? My real name?"

He doesn't pull from me, he instead keeps his face inches from mine. I nod biting down on the bottom of my lip as my eyes flicker up and down his face. He looked different to me after my memory... older than he was before.

"What is happening to me?"

I ask looking from him and I take in the nature around me once more. I didn't know what to do... or if I could do anything. I felt like I was loosing my mind, and I probably should be... none of this was normal. I pull myself out of his grasp and stand, I feel the way I did in my house. Like the world was suddenly ten times smaller. He watches me, not moving from where he's sitting on the ground.

"You're remembering."

He whispers softly as I fold my arms across my chest.

"Who am I?"

I ask in as he watches me intently.

"You'll see soon enough my little flower."

He lays back in the grass staring up at the stars, and I look down at him. It wasn't until now that I realized the full extent of Peter pan's mystery. In the many years I had spent with him I didn't realize how little I knew about him. Not only did I not know him, but I didn't know me. Everything suddenly felt like a game with missing pieces. With all the missing pieces, nothing made sense... I look down at him and finally understand why I cared for him from the second we met... I look at him and sigh.

"I'm tired of your games."

I whisper walking up away from him, and back through the patches of grass, going back the way I came. He's not concerned with me leaving because he knows that I can't get off the island, and that no one can without his consent.

"That's the thing love..."

He shouts from where he's laying.

"...My games are the reason you love me."

I freeze in place for only a moment, glancing over my shoulder to see him still laying on the ground. I should be frustrated... but I know that even if I had my heart I would love him still... because he's right... just like he always is. Because Peter Pan never fails at being right.


	4. Chapter 4

"I feel something so right

By doing the wrong thing And I feel something so wrong

By doing the right thing

I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive"-One Republic

It's nightfall before he returns to my little home… It's cold on the island, but it seemed abnormally frigid… maybe it was my lack of a heart, but I felt chills go up my spine. When he comes back he walks through the front entrance as I stand in front of the fire where I'm making myself dinner.

"Peter?"

I ask before I glance over my shoulder to see him standing in the doorway his body pressed up against the door frame, arms folded across his chest. His eyes are on me when I finally turn to face him, his tongue darting past his lips for only a moment.

"Yes?…"

He asks back giving me a small smirk, but there's anger on his face… a burning rage flickers in his eyes as he stands there.

"…What's wrong?"

One half of me doesn't want to know, but the other half feels like I need to know. I want to make sure he's alright, even though I was still angry with him.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with. Everything is right where I want it to be."

He unfolds his arms from his chest before taking a few more steps into my little home. I sigh watching every move he makes. I don't know why he's being so secretive with me… It wasn't like I could do anything without his consent anyway.

"Are you going to never tell me anything Peter?…"

I pause as his eyes meet mine.

"… Are you always going to keep me in the dark? You can trust me."

He raises his eyebrows before sighing.

"If I tell you everything, you might talk if the right people come asking questions."

My brow furrows ever so slightly at his words…

"People are going to ask questions? Who?"

There isn't anyone here in Never land, other than Pan and Rumpelstiltskin… There was no one else left. Everyone left on Hook's ship… 2 months ago. I look at Pan almost hoping he would give me answers, but I knew he wouldn't. I sigh nodding before turning back to the fire where my stew is still cooking. I watch the flames as the engulf the edges of the black cauldron. I hold myself as I watch it feeling the chills from the cold once more. It's only a few seconds that I watch the fire, but the process doesn't last long. I feel arms wrap around my waist, his chin resting against my shoulder.

"I've always hated when you pouted… I never liked to see that pretty little face of yours unhappy."

He kisses the side of my head after he whispers this in my ear. I close my eyes as his warm breath lingers on my neck.

"I don't mean to be unhappy.. I just wish you'd tell me things."

He chuckles.

"I took your heart because of a wish love, you should be careful when you tell me your desires."

I freeze when he says this… The loss of my heart had been on a constant loop since he took it hours ago…

"Why are you doing this?"

I practically beg while he holds my body to his.

"It's the price of the game my flower."

His chest presses up against my back as my breathing hitches.

"Must you always play with me?"

I ask in a breathy whisper as he turns me to face him, guiding my body in against his. He smirks when he sees my hesitance. He's one step ahead… just like he always is. His hands move to the hem of my nightdress as he lifts it up ever so slightly, his fingertips running up my thighs.

"Yes, yes I must."

His voice is almost like a low growl when he says this. His eyes dance up and down me, he scans every possible piece of visible flesh before moving us forward, my back pressing against the wall of my home. His hands lift up my dress a few inches more, and his eyes watch me carefully as they calculate every reaction I have. As dangerous as I know he is, I find that there's a certain amount of safety I have when we are alone.

"You're a cruel boy."

I whimper when the gap between us is closed and his chest is now fully against mine. A dark chuckle escapes his lips.

"You know I never behave… never have."

I lock eyes with him as his lips make their way for mine, and I kiss him back with everything I've got. It's like there's a fire brewing between the both of us. An unspoken war needing to be fought, but I was sure that he would win… just as he always does. It's as he continues to kiss me that his hands move up my nightdress stopping after moving his hand up a few inches. The act alone is enough to send chills up my spine. I never liked how he teased me when we were like this, but I would be lying if I said I didn't thrive on it. My hunger for Peter Pan was the only thing that seemed to consume me, and he knew it.

"Peter?"

My voice asks breathless as his hands become daring, and curious.

"Yes my little flower?"

His head moves the side and his eyebrows raise ever so slightly as he taunts me, his breath against my lip after he speaks.

"Please… I know you like to play games, but for my sake… if you're going to touch me I wish you would."

He chuckles as he leans in to kiss me once more. He's slower this time when he kisses me, his hands move from my thighs and instead move to the wall I'm pressed against. I feel frustrated as he kisses me knowing that the whole reason he's doing this so slowly is to taunt me even more. He bites down on the bottom of my lip causing me to groan in response.

"I do love touching you little flower."

He pulls back to look at me his eyes watching me intently as I breathe in and out breathlessly. He's impressed with how disoriented I am because of his lips alone. He moves his hands back to my legs lifting me up without saying a word. I wrap my arms around his shoulders so I don't fall from his grasp. He guides me to my bed laying me down beneath him, his body straddling mine. He guides his lips to my neck. My eyes flutter closed, and I know that it's not the best idea to be with him like this, but that has never stopped me before. His touch is familiar, and I know it's because of what I learned earlier in the night. He was someone who used to mean a lot to me… He was someone I was in love with at one time in my life. I may not remember everything, but every touch sent memories flickering through my brain with his every caress. I bite down on my bottom lip to repress a moan as his hands once again dare to go up my thigh until they reach where I need them most. Maybe it was slowly remembering who I was, but this time when he touched me it felt different than the other times. There seemed to be hints of care behind the touch, even though I know he'd never admit any feelings to me, not verbally anyway. His fingers taunt me in the best and cruelest of ways, my uneven breath seems to draw him closer to me, his smirk never leaving his lips. I hissed as his touch accelerated, and clothes were lost. The familiarity with him only seemed to reach an all time high with each passing moment he touched me. He had me memorized without even looking. He had me eating out of the palm of his hands, but even I knew he was doing this for more than just pleasure. He was distracting me from something… something big… something I was going to figure out, because that was the best thing about not having a heart… I no longer feared him.

***Please tell me if this is any good :) please and thank you! :)


	5. Chapter 5

"**I will keep quiet  
>You won't even know I'm here<br>You won't suspect a thing  
>You won't see me in the mirror<br>But I crept into your heart  
>You can't make me disappear<br>Til I make you"- Digital Daggers**

The moonlight shines in through the window of my home. Little rays of light touching the base of my feet while I lay in bed. He lays behind me his eyes closed, and his hands behind his head. The picture of content, arrogant intent. His completely bare body comfortably wrapped up in my sheets. I sit up in the bed peering out the widow, looking out at the moon. I feel chills all over me, and bumps on my skin. My long black hair is a mess, tasseled around with loose waves from when his fingers entangled themselves in the strands while I lay in bed at the mercy of his heated grasp. I look from the moon and down to my legs as they lay directly in the moonlight. I can't sleep, because I know that he's keeping something from me. I know that something is troubling him… I just wish he would trust me enough to tell him. But maybe that's how you become king… by keeping people at an arm's length… not letting them see something your enemy could use against them. I glance over my shoulder when he stirs, but he isn't awake, and I'm thankful for that. With him asleep I actually could think. I had time to breath… maybe that was another positive to not having a heart. Nothing troubled me when I couldn't feel emotion. I needed to figure out everything on my own… especially since he wasn't going to tell me a thing. I draw my legs up and hold them to my chest, resting my elbows on my knees, and I hold my head in my hands. I can't breathe, for the second time in a day. There is darkness all around me, but the darkness isn't only from the night. The metaphorical shadows plague me as I sit at the end of my bed, alone while he's blissfully unaware of what haunts me. I feel my thoughts abruptly stop as his lips move to my back.

"Little flower, what troubles you?"

His devilish voice taunts me as his lips drift to my shoulder blade. His lips firmly plant another kiss before my breathing hitches, and his hands hold my shoulders in place.

"You do."

I whimper as I close my eyes as his lips find my neck and my head falls back giving him more access to the flesh provided for him.

"Don't I always…"

His voice sings with a melody that was as alluring as the music his flute plays. He's as enticing as a demon seeking a new victim, only I'm not a new victim… I'm one he's played with more than once.

"… Isn't it my job to trouble you my little flower?"

I bite down on the bottom of my lip as his tongue dances across the skin of my neck. I don't want to make a sound, but I am certain that, that is his goal. His hands move from my shoulders, and instead trail down the front of my body. He groans and I can't help but smile to myself, even though I have no heart, lust seemed to be something I could feel. Peters lips move from my neck, and instead his teeth tug at my earlobe.

"Are you going to tell me what really troubles you? Or do I need to get it out of you in my own way?"

The gravel in his voice makes my breathing stop for a moment. His lips move from my ear, and his hands move from me. He was going to torture the answers out of me… I knew it. I glance over my shoulder, my gaze meeting his.

"I'll talk when you do."

I state as his eyes darken, and his mouth forms a satisfied smile.

"Is that a threat? Are you trying to negotiate with me?"

He asks this as I turn my face from him. I don't know if toying with him was a good idea, but I want to.

I turn my body to face him as he lays back in my bed, eyes staring at me with cruel intent.

"Would you be willing to negotiate with me…?"

I pause as I remember the memory I had earlier in the day… the way he used to be, before all of this. He'd negotiated with me in the past, maybe he would do it now.

"… Just as you did all those years ago… back when we were together."

He knows of what moment I am referring to, and his smirk falters for a moment when he thinks about that night.

"We both know that was a different time, with different circumstances."

He says this with his jaw clenches, and his gaze moves from mine. He glares at the bed as I scoot forward on the bed. He tenses when I move closer, but not out of fear…. there is another reason behind his hesitance, and I do not know what it is…

"Peter… please don't do that."

He looks up from the bed sheets, hatred in his eyes.

"Don't do what?"

He asks, eyebrows raising ever so slightly.

"Don't be cold with me. You're the only person I remember ever knowing. The only one who's ever shown me kindness, and cruelty. Don't let me be more alone than I already am."

I whisper the last part of my sentence because I suddenly am unsure of if I'm being wise by telling him everything I feel. He sighs, and I know that he doesn't want to deal with me right now. He was a man of schemes and games… he didn't want to deal with me or my pleas for him to be there for me. From what I could remember, he was good at leaving me all alone, and only seeking my attention when he needed something. I brush my fingers over the blankets of my bed as an awkward silence sweeps over us. I almost wished I never said anything… I missed the closeness we'd had only moments ago. I run my fingers over my arms as I hold myself. He sighs once more before I feel him move across the bed, the mattress bending from his body weight. I don't look up until he uses his left hand index finger to guide my chin up. I look at him and I see the anger in his face, but the sympathy in his eyes.

"I never meant to leave you alone all the time…"

He pauses looking at me before liking his lips.

"…I wanted the best for my wife… And then when you wanted children, I had to work even harder."

He removes his grasp from my chin, moving in ever so slightly. I feel tears flicker to my face as I remember how desperately I wanted a child… back when he was all mine and I was all his, many lifetimes ago. I feel everything I felt the night I told him I wanted to take the next step.

"I am sorry Peter… for everything I did in the past. I pressured you into having a child, when I should've respected that."

He chuckles as his right hand moves to my shoulder, his fingers playing with the base of my hair.

"I had no problem with making babies with you. You know how much I love touching you, kissing you, having you be mine in every possible way…"

His voice drifts as lust flickers and burns behind his gaze.

"… I didn't even mind when you got pregnant."

I feel my breathing come to a sudden stop… I didn't remember that part. I didn't remember having a child with him, but then again I didn't remember our life together hundreds of years ago.

"I-I had a baby?"

I ask, shock etched into my voice. He smirks his eyes trailing up and down my body as his fingers graze the skin of my arm.

"Yes, you did. You and I had a son."

I feel the sadness of my memory fade, and a sense of relief washes over me. I wasn't supposed to have feelings… he took my heart, so how was now feeling?

"What was his name?"

I ask as amusement flickers to his face.

"Lets make it a game."

He whispers, eyes still on my body as he continues to let his fingers run along my skin. Goosebumps start to form under his touch, and I breathe a deep sigh.

"Peter… I please just tell me."

He chuckles once more.

"You want answers my lily? Then you need to play along."

I lock eyes with him once more as his gaze meets mine.

"Fine."  
>I whisper as he grins.<p>

"It's a thinking game I want to play, and you'll be good at this. You've always been so very smart…"

He pauses as his lips brush against mine.

"… I know you'll figure it out within minutes. It's not a difficult thinking game…"  
>His breath is hot on my neck as his lips descend where they'd been only minutes ago.<p>

"… Now my little lily… we had a child, and he's still alive… in fact you've met him."

I freeze at his touch…. I've met him… Peter pan's son is on the island… his only son… which made him… mine?

"Rumpelstiltskin?"

I whisper in awe as he pulls back to look at me. The smirk still dances across his handsome face, I know by the look on his face that I'm right. My son is on the island? Peter and I had a son and he was alive? I study his face as his hands hold me once more, only this time the grip is tighter… so tight its almost painful.

"You're so smart my little lily…"

He pauses a dark chuckle moves passed his lips.

"… Too smart for your own good."


	6. Chapter 6

"I scraped my knees while I was praying  
>And found a demon in my safest haven<br>Seems like it's getting harder to believe in anything  
>Than just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts."- Paramore<p>

"Are you going to hurt me?"

I whisper as his grip on me tightens, his lips descending against mine. He lays back in my bed before he guides me to straddle him.

"Why would I do that love? Why would I harm you?"

He growls this before kissing me again. He may not be saying anything, but all I could feel was danger radiating off of him. I could feel his anger, his torment... it existed behind his every touch. I hoped it wasn't me who made him feel this way, but I couldn't help but feel like it was.

"I can sense when you're angry Peter... Have I done something?"

I whimper this once his lips move from mine, his gaze is on me. His eyes study me as though it's the first time he's ever seen me. I can tell he's debating something... a plan probably. There is a kindness in his smile, but the burning desire tells me another story.. He was hiding something...My only hope is that its not something awful.

"You haven't done a thing..."

He whispers as his hands trail up the thighs that are on either side of him as he lays in my bed. His focus is on me, and how low my nightdress seems to hang. His tongue dances over his lips for a second before he murmurs.

"...You've done everything perfectly right. You did as I told you. You my sweet, sweet girl, have played the game flawlessly."

I nod wordlessly as his hands make their way under my nightdress.

"Then why are you acting so cold? I only wanted to know the truth Peter... I should know the truth."

He gives me a playful smirk before nodding.

"Of course you had the right to know... But that doesn't mean I wanted you to know."

I look at him unsure of how I should reply to him. When he says this I know instantly that this was the very thing he was keeping from me. The very thing he spent the night distracting me from.

"Then why tell me? Why waste the time on me? The energy of telling me the things you want hidden from me."

I ask him this without any emotion as he lifts his head from my pillow. His face inches from mine... those lips tauntingly flawless. He smiles as though he knows something I don't.

"You're not getting it..."

He pauses throwing me a quick glance.

"... Since we first met, all those years ago, you've been the only one who can make me do the things I don't want to do."

I run my hands along his shirtless torso and breathe in slow, steady breaths. I can feel the tension building... the lust becoming more prominent as my hands travel his skin.

"How is that possible? Peter Pan never does what he doesn't want to."

I whisper this as the muscles of his torso tense under my touch, a dark chuckle passes his lips.

"Because I love you."

My hands stop dead in their place as I look up at him, his eyes intently on me when I do. Peter never told anyone that he loved them. Love didn't seem to be something he could do... or feel... It just wasn't him. He uses my silence to smirk and stare at me. He knows I'm taken back by shock, and I think he enjoys it... seeing me completely shocked in his arms... at his mercy. He chuckles once more, the cruelty of his laugh making goosebumps plague my flesh.

"Don't be so shocked... You must know I love you."

I shake my head in protest suddenly feeling the need to keep my eyes from his.

"I've never heard you even mutter the words... not to anyone."

It was true... he never said he loved anyone... not even his own son... our son. At the thought of him I feel angry. Angry with Peter for keeping him from me... I wanted to see my son. After all of this time I knew I deserved to see him, and I was going to find away with or without his help.

"If you love me as you claim you do... I need you to prove it..."

I whisper before looking at him once more. He raises his eyebrows, and nods without speaking.

"... I need you to take me to my son. I need to see him Peter."

He sighs.

"He won't react well to that if you go to him. He doesn't even remember you... you died when he was really little. He'll think it's one of my games or that I'm trying to trick him. He might hurt you... he has magic too."

I run my hands up his torso and stop once I reach his chest, my right palm over his heart.

"Then protect me. This is your island, and I've heard you say it before... nothing happens here without your permission. Just make sure he doesn't kill me."

He chuckles when I say this.

"I know I have a hard time saying no to you, but you need to remember what you're up against. He's the dark one Tiger lily."

I nod.

"But you're Peter Pan, and Peter Pan never fails."

I say this hoping that it will change his mind... that he'll let me go. He leans forward pressing his lips to mine giving me a quick kiss. His hands move from my thighs, and instead entwine themselves in my long black hair. I kiss him back, feeling dizzy at the intensity of his desire. Once Peter got started he didn't stop... He pulls away, his lips still inches from mine as he rests his head against mine.

"I'll take you in the morning... But don't say I didn't warn you."

The cave is as cold as I remember it being. Dark, misty, and it smelled worse than anything I've ever smelled before. Peter stays close to me with every step I take, following behind me. I know that my son is the dark one, but I hoped that he wouldn't be too hard to speak with. I wasn't going to go tell him that I was his mum right away, no he'd never believe me if I did, but I did want to see him. We stop when I don't know which way to go anymore, and he steps around me. Once Peter is in front of me, guiding me through the narrow confines of the cave I begin to wonder if this was such a good idea. It's not until we reach where he left him last that I can tell that there's actual life in this cave. Peter stops when we reach where we need to be. He lights a torch without taking a step near it, his magic doing all the work for him. He steps aside, and once he does I see the man I helped bring back to life. The man who I learned was my son only hours ago... He sits on one of the many large rocks scattered around the cave, with his back against the wall. There is a tray of food in front of him, untouched, but he looks like he's starving. I don't blame him for not eating Pan's food, he probably doesn't trust the man giving it to him. I look at the male before I dare to look at Peter. He seems intent on keeping is gaze on me... I think he's intrigued by my reaction to the person in front of me, but I was unsure of how I should react... or how I could react. I didn't know what to say... I couldn't just act maternal... I didn't even know how to be, and even if I did he wouldn't believe me.

"Hello laddie."

Peter's voice echos through the cave, and it sends shivers up my spine. He is cold in his tone, and if I didn't know that it was his son, I would think he is speaking to an enemy. Rumpelstiltskin looks at him and it's as though he is numb. Numb from the cold, numb from the starvation, and numb from the lack of emotion his father gives him. They study each other for several seconds before Rumpelstiltskin's eyes move to me. When they reach me I feel fear... a fear that hits too close to home, even for me.

"Who's our guest?"

He asks, ignoring Peter's words. Peter sighs glancing over his shoulder to look at me, he stretches out a hand gesturing for me to come closer. I am unsure of if I should get closer... what would happen if I did? Would the infamous Rumpelstiltskin kill me, or would I have hope that he'd give me a chance? I look at the ground as I take a step forward.

"This is Tiger Lily."  
>Peter says this, his voice low, and controlled. He won't tell Rumple who I really am... not until he had to. He was avoiding this whole interaction and I knew he was, but I didn't know why. I stand next to Pan and Rumpelstiltskin smirks.<p>

"Your plaything I assume."

He whispers this cruelly with hints of judgment behind his words. Peter sighs.

"Now son, is that anyway to treat a lady?"

He asks taking a step in front of me, blocking me slightly from Rumple's vision, but I know that he can still see me. Rumpelstiltskin chuckles.

"I doubt she's a lady if she keeps you as company."

I feel a pang of some undetectable emotion flicker through me when he says this. I feel like he hates me and he hasn't even given me a chance to prove myself. I understand why he feels this way, but it still managed to get under my skin. Peter steps aside and glances back at me.

"I told you he wouldn't want to meet you."

He whispers it, but it's just loud enough for him to hear... I can see the confusion on his face.

"And why would she want to meet me?"

He asks as Peter smiles.

"My plaything wanted to meet my son..."

He pauses pulling me forward.

"... You see when she brought me back, she brought you back too."

Rumpelstiltskin is hesitant as he watches me. I take a step forward, and hope that he doesn't do anything.

"Why did you bring me back?"

He asks looking from me to his father. I clasp my hands together feeling my arms start to shake in fear... this wasn't just a mother meeting her son... this was a mother meeting her son who just happened to be one of the darkest people on this planet... but after being with Peter for so long I shouldn't be phased. Peter was no better... in fact, he was worse.

"I didn't think you deserved that fate."

I whisper this with my eyes on the ground. The sound of his chuckle echoes throughout the cave... it's as cruel as his father's.

"Really? How kind of you to care for me, but do you realize what you've done?.."

He pauses as my gaze moves from the ground to him. He looks at his father with pure fear and hatred... all conflicting him at once. When he looks back at me I feel the full hatred he feels for his father.

"... You've brought back the one person in this world we all should fear. Whatever he's promised you, whatever he's said... know that he will break his promise. He always does."

When he says this I think back to every conversation Peter and I had prior to this very moment. Peter Pan didn't always keep his word, and I knew that. In fact, I expected him to lie or take back his word all for the sake of the game. I don't speak a word as Rumpelstiltskin's eyes narrow... the dark one seems to see more than I thought he could.

"Where is your heart?"

He asks standing up from the rock where he's been sitting.

"I took her heart."

Peter states simply in response, as he moves to stand in front of me. He seems tense when he sees his sons sudden movements, and it's his protective gestures only seem to intrigue the dark one.

"That's the only way you'd ever get it papa... by forcefully removing it."

He speaks through clenched teeth, and I can feel the tension build between father and son. Only seconds pass between him speaking and what happens next. Peter has Rumple pressed up against the wall of the cave. Both of their breathing is uneasy and I can tell Peter wants to rip our son limb from limb, but I wasn't about to let that happen. I move quickly in an attempt to stop him. I couldn't let him hurt Rumple... not when Rumple had every right to despise his father. He had every right to say the things he said and think the way he thought. They are in a struggle both of them desperate to hurt the other. It doesn't take long for Peter to move a hand to Rumple's neck and make him gasp for air. I feel panic move through me when he does this... I don't want anything to happen to my son... I just got him back. I take the necessary steps forward before reaching them. I rest my hand against Peter's back and I feel him freeze in place when I do.

"Peter stop... you're hurting him."

I whisper this as he freezes, he doesn't move his hand from him and his son's breathing becomes more cut off from the pressure. I move my hand down his back and he breathes a deep sigh before he lets go. Rumpelstiltskin's body slides down the wall of the cave before hitting the ground with a light thud. I move from Peter to Rumple, I keep my distance, but kneel down next to him as he tries to steady his breathing.

"Are you alright?"

I ask him as he looks at me, nodding without speaking a word. I look back at Peter with terror in my eyes... I knew that he was dangerous, but seeing him do this to his son... to our son seemed to make my stomach turn. I know he can see my disapproval, and he rolls his eyes. He takes a few steps back keeping his gaze on his son and me, his eyes narrowed.

"I should've known you'd pick him over me."

He whispers this as I stand up looking at him sadly. I want to reach out to him, and wipe the hatred off his face, but I can't. He backs away farther as I extend my hand, trying to touch his arm in a moment of affection. He thinks I chose our son over him... But I didn't. I just didn't want anyone to get hurt. I've never wanted anyone to get hurt...

"Peter please."

I whimper as he shakes his head.

"If you want to take his side then you can. And you can stay here."

I blink and he's gone. He left me alone with the one person who I knew would hurt me if he wanted to, because he didn't know who I was, and even if he did I wasn't sure that I was safe. The dark one didn't get to be the most feared person in all the realms by listening to the people he viewed as a threat. He did it by killing first, and asking questions later...


	7. Chapter 7

"Won't you come out  
>We could paint the town red<br>Kill a little time  
>You can sleep when you're dead<br>Cause it isn't over yet  
>Get it out of your head<p>

Chase a couple hearts  
>We could leave 'em in shreds<br>Meet me in the gutter  
>Make the devil your friend<br>Just remember what I said  
>Cause it isn't over yet<br>Just remember what I said  
>Cause it isn't over yet"-digital daggers<p>

I stare at where Pan exited only moments ago. I am frightened… more than I've ever been before. I am alone in a cave with the one person who could hurt me… I glance over my shoulder and sigh.

"Hurts doesn't it? Being abandoned by the person you care about."

I nod without speaking in response. The infamous dark one pities me and I can tell… he knows how I feel, because he's gone through it too. I turn to face him looking at the cold cave floor. I can hear him struggle to stand back up, but I am quick to take a few steps forward, lending a hand out to take his. I help him up and he studies me cautiously. He looks at me and I see a glimmer of familiarity flicker in his eyes. It's as if he knows me, but I know he doesn't. His eyes are brown like mine…

"Do I know you?"

He asks as I shake my head in protest.

"No sir, no you do not."

I whisper this back as I move my hand from him, folding my arms across my chest. I shiver as I look around the cave, suddenly feeling bad that he's spent the past few days here while pan and I played house in the warmth… He sighs looking at the goosebumps that form on my flesh, he walks around me and moves to where he'd made a fire before. Next to is untouched food there is firewood, using his magic, he starts the flames. The second the flames begin I feel a small wave of warmth, and I'm thankful for it.

"How do you know Pan?"

Rumpelstiltskin asks me this as I sit on the ground in front of the fire. I glance up at him and shrug my shoulders. I can't tell him the truth… even though I want to.

"It's complicated… We have history."

I whisper as he raises his eyebrows, he's interested in what I've said, but I know that I can't say much more. I look away and instead look at the embers.

"Be warned dearie… he's not to be trusted."

I nod. I knew this unfortunately… A person who kills their best friend all for revenge and power was not to be trusted…

"I know, and that's the problem… I love him anyway."

I whisper the last part of the sentence as he sits down next to me on the ground.

"Love him?"

He asks as I nod once more.

"Surely you've loved someone you shouldn't have."

I state lifelessly as I bring my pant covered legs to my chest, holding myself. Maybe telling him how I felt wasn't the best idea… perhaps is he knew too much he'd do something awful to Peter. Maybe try to use me as bait… which wouldn't work. Even though Peter told me he loved me, I still knew how much he cared for himself. He cared more about his own little kingdom and how much power he has… More than he's probably ever going to care for me. Rumple seems intrigued by my words, he sighs looking at the fire as I glance at him out of the corner of my eye.

"I have."

Is all he says in response. As silence descends upon us. The fire keeps me warm, but I shutter to think of what Pan will have in mind for me if he ever decides to let me out of this cave…

"I bet you think he actually cares for you…"

He states lifelessly from beside me. I sigh closing my eyes… He was speaking my worst fear. That I'm dumb enough to believe that Peter Pan could ever care for me. I can feel his gaze on me when I open my eyes.

"…You're not the only one who's made that mistake."

He whispers. I can tell by the tone he's using that he's referring to himself. I knew that Peter had a son, and I knew that he'd abandoned him here many years ago for his own selfish wishes. I felt for the man sitting next to me… the whole reason he was here was because I wanted a son. I wanted a son more than anything, and Peter only caved for my sake, not because he wanted a son too. I left this child in the hands of a man who never wanted one. It was my fault this man became the way he is… his fate is my doing…. I want to cry, but I know that my lack of a heart makes that impossible.

"I'm sorry…"

I murmur breaking the silence.

"… For what he's done to you."

The fire seems to get a bit higher when I apologize, it's as if his magic is tied to his emotions.

"How do you know of what he's done to me?"

He asks as I smile bitterly.

"He trusted me enough to tell me about you."

His gaze meets mine and he takes a hesitant breath. I knew that he was suspicious of me, but I didn't have much to hide from him. The only thing I was keeping from him was that I am his mum…

"Pan trusts no one."

I bite down on the bottom of my lip running my hand over my chest suddenly wishing I could feel my heartbeat… or feel anything.

"I know."

***Peter's Pov***

The island is silent. The absence of lost boys is apparent… My feet hit the dirt ground hard with every step I take. The forest is calming as I stand in the middle of the clearing, after everything that occurred in the cave I needed the space. Never land is warm. I push past the branches with my free hand as I walk. I sigh when I turn to see my tree… the tree where it all started… The place where I let go of my old life, and entered this new life of eternal youth. I look at the hand that is grasping something.. the small chest that held my entire world's most important feature… Every person has a weakness, and she was mine. My own little flower all for me to have, to keep, to use… My fingers brush over over the chest as I hold the box in my hands. I lay it down the ground as I it next my thinking tree. This chest holds the one thing I've ever truly loved… the one person who can break me if she knew her true strength. I glare at the chest as I grasp it once more. I can hear the heartbeat through the box as I hold it. I sigh laying my head back against the bark of the tree trunk as I think about today and everything that has occurred. I left her in the cave with my son… our son, and I would worry about her getting out of the cave, but I know she can't. She's spelled in with the son she so desperately wanted to see… I smirk to myself at the very thought of how flawless my plan was going… I knew she'd want to meet him once I told her about him and I knew that she'd take his side if I threatened him. The game was working out in my favor, and she was once again playing the role perfectly. While she had no idea of what I was up to, I knew she'd still be the essential piece in my game. I needed to figure out how to live forever, and now that the heart of the trues believer was out of the question I needed to find another way… I needed access to the kind of magic only the dark one possessed, and the only way I'd get that was through Tiger lily. I wave my hand over the chest and it opens, Rumple won't tell me anything… but if he thinks that I've betrayed her he'll lean on her for support. He'll think she hates me as much as he does. She'll get him to trust her, and I'll figure out all of the things he doesn't want me to know. I pull her heart out of the box smiling at the beating organ… her beautiful heart. I bring the heart to my ear and listen… I can hear her voice, and my son's.

"Pan trusts no one."

Rumpelstiltskin's voice rings in her ears and I can feel her heart beat faster as he speaks. She is connected to him… even with out her heart…. and I would be lying if I said I didn't feel threatened by her instant connection with our son. She's been the only one I've ever fully allowed myself to love, and it made my stomach turn knowing that I wasn't her one and only. She loved more than just me…

"I know."

She whispers back to him. I clench my jaw when I hear her respond with such words… I stare at the heart with rage. She agreed with him? How could she after everything I have done for her? After I kept her safe from the others, and made sure she had everything she desired. I loved her when I loved no one else, and here I was listening to her words…. her betrayal.

"Do you trust him?"

He asks coldly, a coldness that I thought only I could posses when speaking to anyone. She chuckles lightly, nerves evident in that hauntingly beautiful laugh of hers.

"I want to… I always want to."

There is hope in her voice, but any hope she has seems to flee the second he speaks. He chuckles in an almost condescending tone.

"You can never trust him tiger lily. He never does the right thing. He only does what helps him."

I glance down at her heart as he says this and see the light in it dim ever so slightly… She sighs.

"I know."

The second she says this I feel something flicker inside of me… a feeling I haven't had in years. I felt lonely… If I didn't have her believing in me then who did I have? I put the heart back in the chest, and close it. I feel my smirk falter at her doubt in me… she'd never doubted me before, so why did she now? I knew I wasn't the same man she once knew, but I would be damned if my little flower started to wilt at the mention of me. She is mine, and I will not my son take her from me… no one would. She is mine, and I will never let her go. Never.


	8. Chapter 8

"Here comes the darkness  
>It's eating on my soul<br>Now that the spark has  
>Run out of control<br>This fire is raging  
>I can't find the door<br>I just want to die here  
>But you wanted more<br>You want me to burn  
>Want me to burn<br>Want me to hurt  
>And maybe I will finally learn"- The Pretty Reckless<p>

I am frozen as I lay in my bed, no amount of covers can keep me warm. I cannot sleep and I have no idea why. My eyes flutter open and I breathe a deep sigh of frustration. My mum will be angry with me if I do not get sleep, but I fear that I may not be able to. For the last few nights I have heard the strangest, most enchanting music. It is a haunting melody, but it would seem that my parents do not hear it, and they think me insane for being able to. The sound only comes in the night at the same time, midnight. I sit up in bed and look around my bedroom, it is dark, but I can still make out the shapes of my dresser, and the carpet under my bed. I take a breath pulling back my blankets, and as I do I hear the music. At first it is so quiet that I fear I am making myself hear it. I slip on my slippers before moving to the window where I glance out at the town roads. At first there is no one there, but after a few minutes of music playing I see the silhouettes of my neighbors in the streets. Over the last few nights whenever the music played, the boys from my town would sneak out of their homes and go to find the source of our enchantment... I had been too cowardly to join them, but tonight as I watch from the safety of my bedroom, I decide maybe it would be the best night to do so. I nod to myself once I've made my decision. I was going to find the piper who's music haunted me. I am quiet as I change into a suitable dress, and reach for my cloak to keep myself warm. I wear my most appropriate shoes, for I do not know where the journey will take me.I am silent as I creep through the house trying to make it out without my parents hearing. My house is one of the larger homes in my town, it is a maze that's hard to navigate in the day, but even harder to navigate at night. I try to be quiet, my hands carefully gripping the side of the wall as I walk along the hallway. I don't want to be found out, but I want to know where the music is coming from, and why it isn't effecting my parents. When I am outside I follow the many boys who are sneaking out just as I am. I don't follow too closely behind them, because I know my joining them will be frowned upon, a girl sneaking off in the middle of the night with a bunch of boys was not something girls my age did. I have no idea how we all have managed to escape our parent's grasps, but we have managed to... We weave through the dark streets of the enchanted forest, passing the dark windows of the town homes. Eventually we reach the outskirts of town, and we move to the woods, my feet brushing over the cold, damp, and muddy grass. It is dark, but as I look through the trees I can make out a fire... a fire that burns brighter and brighter until we reach the clearing. In the center of this clearing is a fire that burns high, higher than anything I've ever seen before. There are more than a dozen boys all wearing masks. They are dancing around the fire to the music, and making a lot of noise. I look around completely entranced by how much fun they're having... I have never had that much fun in my life. I was not allowed to. I am so engrossed in my surroundings that I do not watch my step as I walk. I bump into someone else, my arm brushing theirs.. It's the arm of the person playing the pipe... the pipe causing such lovely music to be heard. They stop playing, their hands falling at their sides.

"I am terribly sorry."

I whisper as they use the hand not grasping the pipe to pull the hood of their cloak back. When it falls back my eyes widen, the person playing is a boy, and he looks no older than I. There's a cruelty in his eyes as his gaze focuses on mine. He is handsome, and for some reason that makes him more intimidating to me.

"Watch where you are going next time..."

He pauses as realization flickers to his face... he looks as though he knows me...

"... Little flower? Is that you?"

He says this as though no one else is around, as if it is only him and I... and to be honest it felt like that. It felt like my world stop spinning and there is nothing else, but him. I shake my head in protest when he calls me the nickname, but I also do it because I need to 'snap' out of it... clearly he thinks he knows me.

"I'm sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone else... Do I know you?"

I ask as I feel familiarity radiate off of him. He seems intrigued when I say this... There is a determination in his eyes that I haven't seen in anyone before.

"Maybe not now, but you will."

He whispers this as his free hand stretches out for mine. At first I do not know what he wants, but as soon as realization hits me I take his hand before he gives it a proper shake.

"Oh? And how do you propose I do that?"

I ask as he smirks, eyes moving along my body as though I am something to play with. It makes my stomach turn, and curiosity flashes through my body.

"A game of course."

He whispers before he licks his lips intently. I smile ever since I was a little girl I've enjoyed competition... and I've always loved games.

"Well then be prepared to lose, I never lose."  
>I whisper this as I look up at him, feeling my cheeks redden when his eyes drift up and down my body. No boy had ever looked at me like this, especially a boy as handsome as he is. He chuckles once more.<p>

"We will have to see about that won't we?"

My body jerks as I awaken. For a moment I don't realize what just happened... I had a memory... I must've fallen asleep... The fire is warm, and it's illuminating the small cave around me. I haven't moved since Peter left, four hours of sitting on the cave ground was leaving me numb. I sit up, my hands brushing the cold cave floor which causes chills to move up my spine. Needing to warm up, I reach my hands out for the fire, my fingers only inches away from the embers. I am still stuck in my memory... the memory of the boy that lured me in with his magic, his music, and his devilish smirk...

"Don't get too close you'll get burned."

Rumpelstiltskin's voice breaks me out of my trance and I nod.  
>"Seems to be the lesson of the day."<p>

I let out a nervous chuckle as I dare to look over at him. He goes to to say something in response, but when he does the fire in front of us goes out. I stand up instantly feeling fear... Pan hurt people he got angry with. I didn't want to die... not when I loved him so much. I know Rumpelstiltskin is watching me, but I don't care if he sees my fear. Peter Pan is someone everyone should fear... he could do terrible things.

"Calm down dearie... it will be okay."

He whispers this from next to me and I shake my head. He didn't know how wrong he is... Pan had my heart, literally and figuratively. He can hurt me because I allowed myself to care for him... He could make me do anything he wanted... What would hurt worse if Pan did decide to take out his anger on me... he could hurt me just by using my love for him against me.

"He'll hurt me... or worse he'll hurt you."

I whisper this to myself as I run my hands through my hair as my nerves start to get the best of me. I bite down on the bottom of my lip as I look around the cave... I felt like at any moment he was going to creep out of the shadows.

"What would it matter to you if he hurt me?"

He says this, and I can tell he's a bit closer than he was before. I know I should fear him as much as Pan, but I found oddly comforted around him. Maybe it was because we were both two broken souls, hurt by the same man.

"I just do. I don't find enjoyment in innocent people getting hurt."

He holds back a chuckle, which causes me to look at him.

"You really aren't like him... are you?"

I shrug my shoulders looking around the cave... Pan was going to arrive at any moment and this wasn't the best time to talk about my character, or who I was or wasn't. The light in the cave seems to darken and I can sense him... he's here.

"The question isn't is she like me or not... the question is can you trust her?"

I hear pan and my breathing stops... he was going to play a game with Rumple? Get him to not trust me and ruin any chance of me getting to know my son. I close my eyes feeling frustrated...

"Peter enough."

I shout through clenched teeth as the fire in front of us starts to blaze once more. I can see him standing on the other side of the cave, a smirk on his face, and cruel intent in his eyes.

"Oh how I love it when you get fiery with me... Makes me love you more."

I fold my arms across my chest. I want to slap him across the face, but I don't, I instead, hold my ground. I don't need Rumple or Pan seeing my uncertainty.

"Come on love, you've been in this cave long enough."

I don't move when he speaks to me, which only seems to bug him. Ever since he came to Never land he'd been in charge, and he had people eating out of the palm of his hand, playing according to his rules. I was just as bad as the rest of them... but now I knew that I didn't want to be like them anymore... I needed to be more than his toy. His jaw clenches as he looks between me and Rumple. There is anger in his eyes and I know that Peter was capable of anything when he was angry.

"Can you really trust her Rumple? I mean she probably hasn't even told you who she is."

My eyes widen when he says this... was he going to tell him? He smirks when he sees the way my face contorts to fear. Rumpelstiltskin looks over at me unsure... and I can't fully read him.

"Who are you?"

He asks as I turn ever so slightly to face him. I am speechless... I don't think now is the right time to tell him, but when I look at Peter I realize that I have no other choice. This is his game... seeing me squirm. I breathe in a deep sigh before I look at Rumple.

"I-I was your mother.. In another life."

I whisper this while looking him dead in the eyes. I see rage flicker through his eyes, and betrayal on his face. This admission hit a little too close to home. A boy who grew up without a mother would surely not know what to say if that said mother returned. Rumple shakes his head, moving his gaze from mine. He chuckles but not because he finds me funny, because he finds my admission to be a joke.

"No jokes dearie. Who are you really?"

He takes a step forward, and I take a step back keeping my eyes on my son. If he hurt me, I'd invite it, it's got to better than what Pan has planned for me.

"I'm not joking..."

I state as I put my hands up in defense.

"... Think about it, you told me you thought you knew me. Plus I brought you back, against Pan's wishes I brought you back."

I feel Peter's eyes on me when I call him Pan, the hatred boiling over. I watch Rumpelstiltskin hoping he doesn't kill me, and when he takes another step closer I fear that he will, but he doesn't. He looks over his shoulder and studies Peter.

"Is she telling the truth, or is she some poor girl you've brainwashed?"

Peter smirks at his son before his gaze meets mine.

"Oh she's telling the truth my boy... She is who she claims to be."

I look at the man I love and sigh. I am beyond frustrated with him... this game was sheer manipulation, and he was trying to get Rumple to not trust me. Peter's smirk grows as he extends his hand.

"Come on love, you've dealt with enough today."

I don't move, but he does, his footsteps growing closer and closer to me. He extends his hands for mine, taking my hands.

"I don't want to leave him in here."

I whisper as he chuckles.

"As if you have any choice in the matter."

He pulls me in against him ignoring our son's eyes, as he licks his lips.

"Please, don't leave him in here."

I whisper looking up into his eyes in the most pleading of ways, but it doesn't work. He rolls his eyes firmly taking my arm as he pulls me with him. I try to pull out of his grasp, and I look over my shoulder to look at Rumple. I feel tears in my eyes, my heartstrings pulling with every passing step. I want to cry, but I don't... I can't show weakness. Rumpelstiltskin watches me blankly as I mouth,

'I'm sorry.'

I didn't want to leave him, but Peter's grip only seemed to grow tighter as he pulls me with him. I turn back to watch where I am going, and all I can feel is betrayal. Cold, heartless, betrayal, and what made it worse was it was the man I love doing it to me...


	9. Chapter 9

"Every night, I dream you're still here.

The ghost by my side, so perfect so clear.

When I awake, you disappear,

Back to the shadows

With all I hold dear..

With all I hold dear..

I dream you're still here."- Digital Daggers

His grip is tight on me as he pulls me through the cave, until we leave and step outside. His grip is so tight it burns, it burns more than anything I've ever felt before. I pull my hand, but it does not leave his grasp.

"Peter stop."

I state as I plant my feet firmly in the ground so he can no longer drag me with him. He sighs in frustration before turning to face me.

"What you pulled back there won't be tolerated."

He says this to me through clenched teeth and I'm forced to look at him in confusion... I had no idea what he meant... Was it because I refused to stand by and watch him hurt a man? Or was it because, for the first time we've been together I've gone against his precious commands?

"What are you talking about? I haven't done anything."

Amusement dances across his face after I say this and it is as if he knows something I don't.

"You forget my sweet girl that I have eyes and ears all over the island, nothing you say will go unheard... especially your lack of belief in me... I've got to say that hurt my feelings."

I roll my eyes when he says this. How did he know that? And how could he? Without his lost boys to spy how did he know what I'd said in the cave?

"Oh please you don't have feelings Peter."

I state this as I glare up at him. He reaches for me, my body being pressed up against his within seconds.

"When did you get so brave? Huh? When did you decide you could talk to me this way?"

I clench my jaw as I take in his words... Before today I had been afraid of him. I had been afraid of what the evil and ruthless Peter Pan could do to me. Him and his handsome face, with his cruel intentions, but now I wasn't. I think on it, and realize that there is only one possible reason for my new found fearlessness...

"When you pulled my heart from my body. That's when I stopped caring."

I pull out of his grasp, and watch him as he figures out what he wants to do next. He's clearly angry with me, but I don't care... I couldn't.

"You seemed to care last night when I made you mine... when your bedroom was engulfed in the sound of our moans."

He says this as though he's trying to prove to himself that I'm wrong. I push past him before glancing over my shoulder to state;

"Peter lust has nothing to do with caring... lust is all about power, you should know that better than anyone."

He raises his eyebrows at my words, and a cruel grin moves to his face.

"I don't know if I find your honesty intriguing or stupid love."

I shrug my shoulders, not really caring for his opinion.

"If you're going to hurt me Peter, just do it. Enough of the foreplay."

He chuckles folding his arms across his chest.

"Foreplay is just the beginning..."

I turn back to face him and sigh.

"I hate you Peter Pan, I really do..."

I whisper this as my gaze meets his.

"... I hate that you are vicious to everyone you meet. You're rude, you're arrogant, but oh how I love you... And I wish I didn't."

I bite down on the bottom of my lip before I sigh once more. It's my turn to fold my arms across my chest as he looks at me. He moves in closer his cruelty written all over his face.

"You've always loved me my little lily... always..."

He pauses as he pulls me in against him once more, his mouth suddenly too close for me to think strait.

"... And I have always loved you."

I look up into his eyes as his arms wrap around my waist, I feel so vulnerable with him this close, but I know there's nothing I can do to escape him, and I couldn't if I tried.

"Why keep him locked away Peter? Why do any of this? Just let the man go."

I look at him feeling like I've been defeated. I needed answers, because slowly I was realizing that I didn't know the man in front of me... I only knew what he wanted me to know. He sighs as his hands move to the small of my back, and they get a bit too curious which causes me to stiffen, when he kept his distance I didn't care, but now that he was up close I found fear moving through me. He licks his lips intently when he sees my nervousness under his touch.

"I have plans little flower, I always do."

I nod allowing my fingers to trace over the fabric of his shirt.

"Tell me... please? Peter I want to know."

He presses his lips to mine, hands in my hair. My eyes flutter closed and I kiss him back, but I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it because I hope he'll tell me what I want to know if I humor him. He breaks the kiss, but presses his forehead to mine.

"You always want to know."

I sigh.

"Is it so wrong of me to want you to be honest with me? I want you to tell me things."

He sighs, his gaze seeming to harden and anger seems to ripple in his eyes.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready to."

I nod taking in his words, he moves his hands from me, and my eyes follow them, suddenly unsure as to what he's up to. He reaches for a chest that seems to have appeared out of nowhere. He laughs at the surprise on my face, as he holds the chest in his hands.

"Remember my little flower in Neverland all you have to do is think it, for it to happen."

I nod as I look closer at the chest... it is the same one that holds my heart... what was he going to do with it? I lick my lips suddenly unsure of what was going to happen next. He holds the chest in his left hand before waving his right over the chest causing the lid of the chest to creek open. It's the second that it opens that I can hear my heart, and it's gentle beating. It was almost taunting me... it was so close, but I felt helpless... I couldn't touch it, he wouldn't let me. He opens the chest and pulls out my heart. I can't look away even though I probably should.

"W-What are you doing?"

I ask as a grin appears on his perfect lips. He holds my heart, moving it closer and closer to my chest, he presses my heart to my shirt covered chest right above where my heart should be. He watches me as my breathing hitches... was he going to put it back? Or was this an evil, sick and twisted game? He shoves my heart into my body, and the wind gets knocked out of me. I close my eyes the second I feel my heart beat again, after days without it. I look up at him and suddenly everything I should've felt comes rushing to the surface. I feel everything... Tears enter my eyes as I look at him suddenly feeling the urge to cry. There were so many things I wasn't allowed to feel when he had my heart, but now I could. I finally felt human again.

"Why did you give me back my heart?"

He chuckles.

"Because I figured you learned your lesson."

With my heart back, suddenly his words had weight. Suddenly him speaking to me felt like it was going to break me into dozens of pieces.

"I need air..."

I whisper as I look up at him. I felt like I was naked in front of him, and it hit me how insecure I felt under his dominant gaze.

"... I need some time away for a few minutes... m-may I walk in the forest?"

He nods as I break away from the closeness we'd had. Usually he doesn't want me to venture out into his island, but I guess he had nothing left to hide. I walk past him my feet moving feeling heavy with each step I take. I feel like I haven't had any control over my body over the last few days, and I guess in a way I didn't. I don't look to see if he's watching me as I move into the forest, and I don't care if he is. I just feel the distance between us growing bigger and bigger with each step I take. My hands move to my chest right above my heart where I feel my heart beat. I close my eyes feeling peaceful now that I am whole once again. My mind keeps going over the last few days... over the fact that I knew about my son and who he was. I keep thinking back on how close Peter and I had been and everything he'd done. I wanted to be mad at him, and a part of me was, but I just couldn't bring myself to hate him. I weave my way through the forest not knowing where I am going, and I'm unsure of how I'll find my way back, but I needed the space. I walk until I reach the base of a tree, a tree with a hole in the side, and a ladder is tucked inside, I can see the bottom of the ladder, and it peaks my curiosity. Was this where Tink lived? I never knew because Peter never let me out of my little house. I walk to the ladder and stare up at where it leads. I normally don't go looking in places where Pan might get angry with me, but it didn't matter... what would he have to hide from me? I grip the bars of the ladder and slowly work my way up, one by one. When I reach the top I see what looks to be an old bedroom. A bed lays in the middle of the room, a comforter is a faded pink, and looks like it's lived more than most people ever do. There are white curtains hanging with lace detail, it looks like a lovely little tree house, but I know that it isn't Tinkerbell's. I pull myself up and take a step on the wooden floor of the tree house, the bed has iron bed post and headboard, and it's as beautiful as the lace curtains. Whoever lived here had been here a long time, and was very well taken care of. I look around the room before I see an old writing desk. Whoever lived here, lived isolated from the others... I could tell by how faded and used everything was. This person hadn't been free in a while... when I reach the writing desk, I allow my fingertips to graze over the old cherry wood. There is a book on top of the desk, a diary of sorts. I lift the diary and open it, the handwriting inside is a woman's...

'He is cruel. He is vicious, and I was wrong to come back... I thought I could save Bae, by returning, but I was wrong. So very, very wrong. He keeps me hidden from the others, locked away in this house in the woods. I am far, but at night I can hear the echo of their cheers through the forest, and eventually it reaches me. I feel alone, but I do not want to join them, for I know what they are capable of. These children may look like boys, but they are something far worse, an evil that cannot be controlled, and their leader encourages it. When I first learned of magic, I thought it to be such a wonderful thing, with endless possibilities. But Bae was right... magic was bad, and I should never have let it in. It was a choice I was going to have to live with... forever.'

I turn the page and read another entry. I know that it is wrong to invade someone's personal space, but Wendy was no longer in Neverland, and I couldn't help it. I felt drawn to her words, and the way she wrote it with perfect cursive.

'He calls me Wendy bird when he's cross. He says it when he seeks my comfort in the middle of the night. Peter Pan would never admit it, but he's as lonely as the rest of us. He comes to me when he needs someone to speak with, confiding in me in a way that I never thought he would. It isn't just talking that he uses to seek comfort... After a few months of me being in Neverland, the cruelest boy I've ever met came to me, and the strangest of things happened to me... He kissed me. He showed up in my little home after getting into an argument with Felix, he, without speaking a word sought me out and was quick to find a distraction... me. He was feverish in his kisses and rough in his touches until I gave him everything I had to give.'

I shut the book after reading it, knowing that I've read too much. I feel guilty for reading her journal, but I also feel angry. Not at her, but at him. I remember the nights that Wendy came to Neverland, the first and the last. I remember his anger when he found out that a girl had used the shadow to enter his island. I was here when she was... I was here when he was with her, and when he was with me. I feel my heart break as I put the diary back down on the desk.

"I'm sorry Wendy."

I whisper feeling awful for reading her book... the book where she so fearlessly poured out her feelings.

I close my eyes as tears spill over, and the room fills with the sound of my cries. After I put the book down I know that I am not alone, I can feel the other presence behind me.

"What's the matter little flower?"

Peter's voice asks as I look over my shoulder to see him. He is the picture of power, and arrogance. I sigh...

"I know you're secret."


	10. Chapter 10

"Say you have a little faith in me  
>Just close your eyes and let me lead<br>Follow me home  
>Need to have a little trust in me<br>Just close your eyes and let me lead  
>Follow me home<br>To where the lonely ones roam"-Digital Daggers

"I know your secret."

My words seemed to echo throughout the small confines of Wendy's old tree house. Peter's arms are still wrapped around my waist, and there is no sign of distress on his face. He leans in to kiss the side of my head, I close my eyes at his touch. There is a darkness in his touch… a darkness that seemed to want to consume me and rid my thoughts of everything I have just learned. Peter Pan had loved Wendy Darling in the most ravenous of ways. At one time he had her, just as he has me… the two of us wrapped around his finger. He pulled our strings and we willingly played his game without even realizing it…

"She didn't mean anything little flower, it's only you I want."

His voice is a low growl in my ear as his hands move to my pants. His fingers are graceful and quick as he toys with the fabric. A tear escapes my eye when I open them forcing myself to face the realness of the situation at hand.

"Did you tell her that as well?"

It comes out as a whisper, but I know he hears me. He stills his actions chuckling.

"My sweet little love, she knew nothing of you. She only knew what I told her to know."

He practically purrs the response as his lips move to my neck where he gives my skin a soft kiss. Chills move up my spine as he says this to me. How could he be so cold? How could he use us all… like we were pawns in his game? None of us truly mattered to him unless we had what he wanted, but what did he want from me? What did I have left to give? What did I ever give him other than something for him to toy with.

"I only knew what you told me."

I mumble this as his lips move further down my neck. Without meaning to I lean my head back allowing him more access, even though I should be pushing him away. He seems amused by my bodies willingness to have him touch me, but my mind seemed to be disappointed in me.

"I'm the king of Neverland none of you know a thing without my consent."

His statement only further proves how power hungry he is, and it fully breaks me out of my lust. I breathe in a deep sigh before I move my hands over his, and unfasten his grip on me. I take a few steps forward before turning to face him, once I'm away from him I can think strait.

"Please stop touching me…"

I whisper looking up at him, I feel like I'm going to shatter like a fragile vase. His gaze alone is enough to make me break.

"… Stop lying to me. Everything you say is one big manipulation, one big game that you're trying to play…"

I pause feeling frustrated, I must sound ridiculous with how I'm rambling, but I couldn't help it.

"… And I'm done playing."

I move across the room stopping when I reach Wendy's writing desk I grab her journal. I pick it up and turn to face him once more.

"You've tormented me and her. You've abandoned your son, and killed your best friend. I'm tired of you doing this… and it's because your afraid. Afraid of dying, afraid of responsibility. You hide behind your power and think it makes you look strong, but all you are is a coward."

I throw the book at him and glare with a new level of hatred flickering through me. I've never disliked him, never to this extent. He catches the book, he glares up at me. Never in the hundreds of years we'd spent together had I lashed out him like this. He flips open the old pages of the journal, the sounds of crisp parchment slicing through the silence of our tension. His eyes scan over one of the pages and a smirk plagues his handsome face he licks his lips intently before speaking next.

"How much did you read? Because this page is very detailed, and very steamy. I had no idea our sex meant this much to her… My little Wendy bird."

He speaks slowly over pronouncing each syllable while his gaze slowly moves to meet mine. He's trying to get a rise out of me by mentioning the two of them and what they had done…. but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction, instead I roll my eyes.

"You used her, just as you've used me."

He holds in a chuckle as cruel humor flickers to his eyes.

"You act like you've never done anything wrong my love, but if you remember correctly you've had your moments… Felix was fond of you, and you of him…"

His voice drifts as my throat aches at the mere mention of Felix. Of course he'd bring him up… It was already a sensitive topic to me, but now was the worst time to bring him up… I feel the tears move to my eyes at the mere mention of him.

"… You remember the night he tried to steal a kiss? Before he knew who's you were… When I made you watch as I beat him, because I remember. I remember the night like it was yesterday, you cried for me to stop… You clung to me hoping that somehow I'd show mercy, you begged for me to stop just as you've begged for me to stop tormenting you…"

His voice drifts as I take a step forward.

"… But I will do whatever I want with you, just as I always have. And there's nothing you can do about it."

I feel like I am going to burst. He's pushing me because he wants to watch me come undone… He wants to see me become vulnerable, and show weakness.

"You leave him out of this, Felix isn't your concern… Not anymore."

My eyes scan him up and down as I move up to him stopping inches from him. I hold in any tears as he smirks down at me, his eyes intently watching the way my chest rises and falls in frustration. I don't dare break his gaze as I try to calm my thoughts. I don't want to yell.. I don't want to keep fighting over something that was in the past. Right now I needed to think about the present… and right now Rumple needed my help. I need to be one step ahead of him… I needed to play his game… I sigh as tears escape my eyes… I'm beyond frustrated, but I have to keep going.

"Just stop…"

I whisper I move my gaze from his. I sound desperate… hell I feel desperate.

"… Just please… I am tired of fighting."

I lean in pressing my lips to his, he is surprised by me kissing him especially after the words we'd exchanged. I run my fingers over his as he holds Wendy's journal firmly in his hands. It's the only thing keeping our chests from touching. He deepens the kiss, but I am quickly overwhelmed.

"You know how much I love you…"

He whispers when I break the kiss, his eyes scanning me… his warm breath on my lips as he remains inches from me.

"… You know I didn't mean it."

I nod as I think of what to do next… I need to get out of here, but the close proximity was making it hard to think… I needed to get Rumple out of the cave. Pan uses many spells, but they're all bound by blood… I sigh as I move my hands against his, I use my right hand index finger lifting one of the pages up against his skin.

"You promise you didn't mean it? You promise that you love me, and only me. That it was all a big mistake?…"

I whisper this against his lips, I give him a wide eyed gaze as he looks down at me nodding. There is a longing look in his eyes, and I breathe a deep sigh leaning in ever so slightly to press my lips to his. I close my eyes and act like I'm giving in to him, just as he would expect me to.

"…I forgive you."

I whisper breathlessly as I press the page of the parchment against the palm of his skin, but he doesn't notice. He's too busy staring down at me to actually notice. He smirks as he moves his lips back to mine once more. He chuckles as he kisses me, but I don't care. He thinks he won… I press the parchment against his skin with all the pressure I can apply before I slice it against his flesh. He breaks the kiss looking down at me once he's realized what I've done. The sound of paper slicing against his flesh scared me more than I'd like to admit. I must've cut deep because… blood gushes all over the pages of Wendy's journal. His brow furrows as he glances down at me.

"You little…"

He growls as he looks from me to his hand, he watches the blood as it drips over the edge and onto the floor. He doesn't get a chance to say anything else because I lift my leg to kick him where it counts. I kick him with all I've got, and he falls to the ground. He gasps as I look down at him knowing that when he feels better he is going to kill me… No one defeated Peter Pan… much less his little toy… I feel tears, but I don't cry.

"I love you…"

I whimper as I bend down to grab the journal, drenched in his blood.

"… And I'm sorry Peter… I'm so sorry, but you gave me no other choice."

I turn from him deciding I need leave now, because each second that passed Pan was slowly regaining strength. I had to run away… and I had to do it now.


	11. Chapter 11

"There's a hollow in my chest  
>Where the pride is striping<br>All I'm trying to forget  
>Wish i would reside again<br>There's a weight in my soul  
>It's a love i cannot hold<br>It's a love i cannot win  
>I need a quick fix<br>Tell me you can cure this  
>Come into my arms and make everything alright<br>Cause your deep into the unknown  
>You're my dark<br>You're my dark, you're the spark"-Digital Daggers

My feet beat against the ground with each passing step I take. I haven't ran this fast in my life, but I had to.. he would find me. He could always find me.. this island was vast, but he could find me within seconds, and there was no telling what he'd do now... not after what I had done. Peter Pan has a nasty temper and I'd pissed him off, more than I ever have before. I weave my way through the tall grass and bushes of Neverland's jungle. I barely knew where I was going which only gave him more of an upper hand. I needed to find the cave... I needed to save the man who's life seemed to mean everything to me even though I hardly knew him.

"That's right run my little Lily... Let's see how far you get."

I can hear Pan's voice bellow throughout the forest, his voice seeming to echo off of the trees. I look behind me, but he isn't there... no one is there. He was going to mess with me... He wanted to drive me insane. I gasp as I trip over a rock, my body falling to the ground... I groan in frustration as I push myself up and make sure I'm still alone. There isn't a soul around me, but that didn't mean I was safe... I stand and fix my shirt. I grab the journal on the ground knowing I can't leave it behind. I close my eyes for a moment and think about where the cave is... and in which direction it would be. Many years ago my mother knew how to track people, it was something she learned from her people, and now here I was hoping that, that ability was somehow something that ran in my blood. I need to get away from Pan... I needed to not let him get inside my head despite what my heart wanted. I take a few steps forward as silently as I can, If I recalled correctly the cave wasn't too far from my home... My little house was behind me now, so was I going in the right direction? I hoped so.

"No matter where you go my little flower, I will always find you."

I hear Peter's voice once again, and all it does is add fuel to my fire... I run with new found purpose and no that I need to put more distance in between me and the king of Neverland. My breathing becomes more wheezy as I run farther and farther. He's probably letting me to get away... he probably wants to see me think I'm winning. To let me think that for once I have a chance... I reach a clearing where I see a wall of rock... rock that leads to the caves. The rocks, and the caves are located in the darkest part of Neverland, and no one dared go in there... except for me. I run into the darkness, the shadows engulfing me. Once I make it about halfway into the darkness, I press my back up against the rock as I try to steady my breathing. I close my eyes as the cold rock sends chills up my spine. I glance down at the book I'm still holding, with his blood all over it. I have no idea how I'm going to use this to break his spell... his shield to keep me out of the caves... The only way I can do it is I have his blood in my system... I open the book, and glance over the pages where his blood is... I look from the book to my own palm and know what I need to do. I sigh pressing the palm of my hand against the bloodied corner of the book. I close my eyes as I drag the palm of my hand against the sharp edge of the journal, I try to cut as deeply as possible because I know I need it in my system. It stings, but I ignore it, and instead move forward. It is hard to see in the shadows of the maze, I am cautious as I walk, hoping that he doesn't find me. The maze is almost like a zig-zag, going from left to right. I turn to my right when I reach the end and I see it.. the place I risked my life for. He would never trust me again, but I had to do this... or at least that's what I kept telling myself this. I look around, making sure that I'm alone before I move towards the cave. My feet brush against the dirt infested ground, my shoes probably growing even more muddy with each passing step. I freeze when I reach the entrance, looking once more to make sure that I am really alone. I look at the ground, and I can barely make out a line in the dirt, a line that Pan drew... this must where be the barrier keeping him in is. I sigh tucking some of my hair behind my ear before I grab the journal forcing my palm against the pages again, this time slicing in deeper. I feel desperate, desperate to save this man at any cost. I run my now bloody palm against the dirt of the ground right over the line he created, not caring if it gets infected. I look up at the doorway of the cave and sigh... Did it work? There was only one way to tell. The line is broken by my hand print, but that didn't tell me if I broke past the spell. I take a deep breath as I lift my right leg to put it over the line. Apart of me is hoping that it works, but the other part of me fears that something will happen and it will hurt... My foot makes it passed the line and I breathe a sigh of relief as I take a step back into the cave. I put the book on the ground of the cave, leaving it there before I take walk down the hall. There is no light this time to guide me, so I just use my hands to touch the sides as I go. My ears are also alert, I had no idea how far I was going to get... of if Pan would find me. I don't know where I am going, but I stop moving when I hear someone else in the caves with me. I freeze in place, my breathing hitches as I try to remain silent. He found me... and now he was going to punish me... He was going to hurt me... I go to turn farther into the cave, so I can try and hide, but I bump into someone. I almost scream, but their hand covers my mouth.

"Shh... it's only me."

I hear Rumple whisper this through the darkness, as he moves his hand from my mouth.

"Rumple?"

I whisper as if I need more proof that he is who says he is. He doesn't answer right away, he instead uses magic to light one of the torches lining the wall of the narrow confines of the cave halls. He looks at me like he's unsure of what to say, he simply nods before he studies me.

"Please tell me you know how to get out of Neverland..."

I murmur looking up at him. He shakes his head in protest, he doesn't know how to get out of Neverland? Perhaps I should've thought out this whole plan before acting on it. He breaks my train of thought when he reaches out to touch my hand, the one I sliced up. His brow furrows.

"Did he do this to you?"

He asks, as I shake my head 'no'.

"No, he had an enchantment on the cave, and I needed his blood to break it... I cut him, and ran, and then I cut myself... It was all very nasty."

I say it all really quickly, and for a moment I think he didn't catch everything I said, but he nods.

"Everything he does ends badly... but doing it without a backup plan. That wasn't wise."

He says it looking at me like I'm the most unintelligent person he's ever come into contact with.

"I know... I did it out of anger... I wasn't thinking..."

I look up at him wide eyed, suddenly remembering that this person is the dark one, was the dark one.

"...Please tell me somehow you know a way off the island. You're the dark one, surely you have some kind of tricks up your sleeve."

I am hopeful, and he can see it. He sighs nodding.

"I do know a way off the island... Pan's shadow can travel through realms, perhaps mine can too..."

He pauses looking at me.

"...But I don't know if you can come too."

I look at him and shrug my shoulders, none of that mattered... anymore. I just cared about him getting out, not me... Pan would never let me go.

"That doesn't matter... it only matters that you get out. You have a family at home, and those people need you."

He looks away from me when I say this, it seems like my words hurt him. I knew he'd never had a parent who was willing to do whatever it took to put their child first, but I was. I may not remember my past, but I remembered that feeling of wanting a child, of dreaming for a child. I'd wanted Rumple for so long, and now that I got him, I wasn't going to let anything bad happen to him. I was going to free him from the cage that is Neverland.

"Tigerlily..."

He whispers.

"...If you stay here, he will kill you. No one crosses Peter Pan and lives."

I nod, because I know first hand that this is true. I've seen him kill, I've seen him torture. I expected it, but I made my choice, and for the first time in our whole relationship I chose someone other than him. Someone other than my tormentor, the very man I still loved despite everything.

"I'm already dead Rumple. I'm living in a never ending lie, I'm unable to grow or change... I am merely a girl captured for his amusement. He likes the fact that I am stuck in a never ending state of love, and denial. My feelings cloud my judgment, and it leaves me numb... I'm already dead, he'll just make it official."

I turn from him for a moment before it really hits me that we need to get going, and soon.

"Your shadow... is it still attached or have you cut it from you?"

He thinks on it before answering.

"I cut it from me."

I bite down on the bottom of my lip.

"We need to leave the cave, and you can do what you need. If he appears I'll distract him."

He looks like he doesn't agree with my idea... he seems to hate it.

"And after I'm free, then what? You let him do what he wants to you?"

I keep my back to him as I walk down the narrow confines of the cave, it didn't matter what my fate was, this was going to happen. I close my eyes thinking of what Peter will do to me for this, for this betrayal, the pain I would feel. How slow he'd torture me, how he'd draw it out... how lustful he'd be while he did it. I want to cry out of fear, but I don't, I merely turn to look at him. I look at him without any real expression as I feel something I never thought I'd feel, acceptance.

"Yes, I will do what I should've done years ago... let him kill me."


	12. Chapter 12

"Run boy be a man  
>With legs too weak to make a stand<br>We're all crucified in the end  
>Can you hear a voice<br>Decipher it through all this noise  
>You'll be left with nothing again"-The Pretty Reckless<p>

The moon is brighter than normal, and it pierces through the darkness as I look out into the night from the cave. The night is unnervingly silent, and I feel like I am being watched, I probably am. He always watches, always... I emerge from the cave, scared, scared that at any moment Peter would show up and make me regret betraying him. The dark one follows behind me as we both officially step out of the cave, our feet crossing over the broken line in the sand.

"You need to be quick and get out of here."

I whisper to him, giving him a quick glance as I look over my shoulder. If the moon wasn't here it would be pitch black, but even in the darkness I can still make out the outline of Rumple's silhouette as he nods. Before looking for a place to start a fire, a shadow couldn't be made visible in this lack of light. He moves forward, his eyes carefully scanning the ground, he must find wood of some king, because he starts a fire, the fire isn't far from the cave entrance. It's as though he's trying to stay close to his old cage, ready to hide at any moment. I don't blame him because I feel the fear too... The burning embers illuminate the night around us, and I stand as close to him as possible. I jump when I hear a voice break through the silence...

"Look at you both... working together, really I'm touched..."

Peter whispers this, but when I hear him he sounds much closer than he should be. I look around, my eyes darting to find him. He is less than five feet in front of me... our gazes lock and my breathing stops. I look at him unsure of what to say, which he takes as a sign for him to keep talk.

"... And let me tell you my little Lily, nothing gets to me more than seeing you like this... Finally getting to help someone you care about... the victory on your face... you are flawless..."

I roll my eyes at his words, he is condescending and I can see him calculating my every movement...my every breath. I look over my shoulder for a second, locking eyes with Rumple... it's when I'm not looking that he pushes me away. Peter shoves me up against the wall of the cave, and presses the edge of a dagger up against my chest above my heart.

"...I should kill you for what you did."

There is a fire that burns in his eyes as he glares at me. The edge of the dagger presses against my skin with more pressure. I gulp as I look up into the eyes of the person I love, even now I still loved him... maybe that was what was wrong with our relationship... that I could love him even when he was cruel. I should hate him for all the things he's done to me, but here I was wanting him even when he was threatening my life.

"Hurry."

I whisper my eyes darting from Peter to Rumple, who's currently watching me and not doing what he needed to do to get off this island. My eyes dart back to Peter, who's knife is making a mark against my skin. I mewl in pain, but I refuse to look away. He pushes his torso against mine, I can feel the sexual tension between the mere touch of our bodies. I gulp once more, my eyes still staring into his.

"This ends now Peter, let him go."

I try to sound confident, but I know that he can see through me. He smirks raising his eyebrows.

"No one leaves my island without my permission, and that includes the dark one. He is going to stay here."

I flinch as he presses the dagger even firmer against my chest, his eyes look me up and down, even when he's threatening he still holds onto whatever lust he feels for me. I want to help Rumple, but I don't know if I can hold my own against Peter... Not only was he strong, but he had magic on his side, and given my current state there was nothing I could do... I am at his whim once more.

"Peter please..."

I whimper in desperation.

"... Please let him go... let this go. He has a family, a family he wants to get back to."

His eyes move from me to his son, the wave of anger going from a flicker to a full on blaze in his eyes as his jaw clenches.

"Fine... He goes, but not you. You're mine, and you my little lost girl will never leave Neverland."

I nod, glancing once more to look at Rumple... He looks like he wants to say something, but doesn't know what exactly to say. I sigh.

"I don't care, just let him go."

He doesn't pull the dagger from me despite the fact that I would love nothing more than for him to do so. His lips turn up in a cruelest of grins as he moves his face in closer to me, his mouth inches from mine. Suddenly I am more afraid, more than I ever have been before. We'd been close like this before, but all those times were different than this. This time I had angered him, this time I didn't play along, and I would pay for disobeying him.

'Peter Pan never fails.'

I can practically hear the ghost of Felix's voice in my mind as I look up at the man holding me against my will. He moves his lips to my ear, barely allowing them to graze the skin. I felt chills on my flesh as he chuckles.

"Oh you have no idea what I'm going to do with you..."

He pauses moving the knife down the front of my shirt, cutting through the fabric as the knife drifts a little low on my chest... There's a sensual aspect to his touch as he does this.

"... You should've behaved Tiger Lily."

He kisses the side of my head, but I pull away. I glare at him, before he pulls the dagger from my chest and glances over his shoulder.

"You'd be wise to never come back Laddie."

He moves his hands from me leaving me slight freedom to move. He turns from me, and I dare to glance past his shoulder, looking at the infamous Rumpelstiltskin. He isn't looking at Pan, he's looking at me. There is concern in his eyes, concern you can't have in the presence of Pan, sure I'd cried in front of him, but I did it because I thought I could trust him.

"Go."

I mouth nodding at him. He needed to go and he needed to do it now. He shakes his head.

"I'm not about to leave you with him..."

He whispers.

"... He will kill you."

Pan chuckles glancing back to look at me, his eyes trail up and down my body just as they had moments ago.

"What do you care Rumple? She's not your concern. She's mine."

Rumple shakes his head, eyes still on me.

"She became my concern when she decided to put her life on the line for me. She was willing to cross the infamous Peter Pan. She broke your rules by letting me out and turning against you... You'll hurt her, but I owe her a favor."

A favor? Was that what he thought he owed me? I didn't do any of this for a favor, I did this to protect him... His own father didn't want him, but I wasn't about to let him think his mother didn't. I was willing to die for him, and save him not because it was what's right, but because I was his mother. He may not know me, but for I felt a connection to him, and I would help him.

"I'll deal with her in my own way... These are my rules, my punishment, and you my boy would be wise to remember that."

Rumple nods lifting his hands up in defense before he glances over at me once more. I don't know what it is, but when he looks at me I can sense that's there's a double meaning behind his gaze. Without saying a word, I know he wants me to move away from Pan, but I can't, not without playing Pan once more. I take a step to my right, and glance at the ground, I force myself to think of all the sadness I've felt over the years... When I do tears form, just as I wanted them too.

"Just stop you two, Rumple just go. He never lets anyone leave without his permission, and he's letting you go... that's a kindness Rumple. A kindness he won't give again."

I whisper as tears brim my eyes before escaping, dripping down the right side of my face. I take a few steps away wrapping my hands around me. I knew Pan wouldn't go near me if I cried, he wouldn't want to deal with it. I hear Rumple sigh before I look at him, I'd taken enough steps away from Pan, and it seemed that Rumple was content with it. He looks at his father with his hands still up in defense.

"Fine."

He growls through clenched teeth as he turns his left wrist ever so slightly, when he does the fire behind him seems to burn brighter, a blindly illuminating flicker. When he does this he lifts his right hand as if he's waiting for his shadow to take his hand... it only takes seconds before his shadow appears, but the shadow doesn't grab him... it grabs me. My stomach turns as it lifts me off the ground creating space between me and the ground. I look at Peter who seems less than thrilled with what is happening, I look at Rumple who's shadow now appears, but if that was his shadow then who's shadow had me? I look at the shadow holding me and feels chills reappear... It's mine. I look at Peter, my brow furrowing... when did I loose my shadow? And how did Rumple know? It's as though he can read my thoughts, he smirks at his father.  
>"What the hell did you do?"<p>

Peter asks through clenched teeth.

"I knew you'd cut her shadow from her Pan... you would never leave her shadow if it was the one way she could get off the island. You wouldn't take the risk of her being able to leave if she ever wanted to."

He chuckles in frustration as the shadow lifts me higher and higher from the island ground and more importantly higher and higher from Pan.

"You can't get away from me Tiger Lily... No matter where you go I will follow. You are mine, and you will always be. You both think your free, but your wrong... And when I find you, you'll wish you never crossed me. You'll wish you would've just left him in his little cage."

He shouts this at us as he becomes part of the jungle below us...

My body slams down on the ground as my shadow drops me. The wind gets knocked out of me, and my ears are ringing... where are we? I'd never been here before... Rumple lands next to me, but when he lands its graceful. He lands on his feet, he doesn't say a word as he looks out into the night around us. The ground is black and hard... I've never seen this before. I run my hand along the ground in confusion, it felt like rock, but it looked nothing like the jungle I'd seen before.

"It's Pavement Tiger Lily."

I look up at him confused... Pavement? He bends down to help me up, his hand reaching for mine. I take it and look around. It looked like a town... like the kind of town I was raised in before I went to Neverland. The houses look nothing like they did when when I was growing up...  
>"Rumple? Where are we?"<p>

I ask as he sighs.

"Storybrooke."


	13. Chapter 13

"I'm gonna let you bleed for a little bit.  
>I'm gonna make you beg just for making me cry.<br>I'm gonna make you wish you never said goodbye."-The Used

It's cold, but at the same time I'm sweating... The light around me seems dimmer as I run through the through the foliage of the forest for what felt like forever. He was after me... he is always after me, and I'm never safe, not ever. This is another one of his cruel games, but I could tell that this was his favorite... he liked the chase.

"Little Lily don't you run... there's nowhere you can go where I won't find you."

My breathing is as restless as I am, and my hair clings to my neck as I stop running, my hands clinging to the bark of the tree nearest to me.

"I give up Peter."

I pant out as I feel him behind me, he's not touching me, but his presence radiates more than any actual touch could. He chuckles as I turn to face him, his eyes look me up and down. He licks his lips before he guides his hands to my body, pushing me carelessly against the tree trunk. The wind is knocked out of me when he does this, but he doesn't seem to notice. He presses his lips to mine, hands cupping my face in the process. Our bodies touch as he leans in, he grinds his hips against mine before pulling my hair ever so slightly. I moan despite myself, as my hands wrap around his shoulders, he uses my moaning as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. I don't know how long this goes on for before he moves his hands from my hair to my neck, his fingers trace over the skin causing goosebumps to form.

"You need to be punished..."

He groans against my lips as he moves back so he can study how close we are, even when the kiss is broken I can still feel him on lips... he is less than an inch from me, eyes intently on me. His words are like poison making my stomach turn.

"Punished? What for?"

I whimper as he raises his eyebrows, it's as if he's surprised I don't know.

"For betraying me my lovely little flower... and trust me, I'm going to enjoy punishing you..."

He moves his lips back to mine, this time with more urgency. I kiss him back even though I shouldn't, even though I should be terrified of whatever he's got planned. He lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. How was this punishment? He lays me down on the forest ground, his body straddling mine. His hands move under my shirt, fingertips grazing the skin of my torso...

"My pretty, pretty little flower..."

He groans as he kisses my neck tenderly, his tongue marking me as his own.

"... You will pay for what you've done."

He lifts my shirt and his lips move to my stomach. He kisses up my stomach, slowly pressing his lips against my flesh. I close my eyes as he works his way up my torso, he kisses right where my rip cage is before he chuckles. As he does this I feel a sharp pain, I gasp as I feel the pain. My eyes flutter open and our gazes lock, he is straddling my body, his handsome face smirking down at me. There, in my diaphragm is an arrow piercing my flesh... an arrow dripped in dreamshade... I look up at him with tears in my eyes as I realize what he's done. His smirk grows...

"You should've behaved my love... You should've remembered that I never fail."

I sit up in bed in bad gasping for air... I don't know where I am... all I know is the darkness around me. Tears are in my eyes, and all I can think about is the dream I just had... It felt so real... I run my hands over my torso, and am thankful when I don't feel blood or any cut marks.

"Tiger Lily?"

A female voice asks me as a light turns on. When the light comes on I realize that I'm nowhere near Neverland. Where was I?

"Who are you? Where am I?"

I ask as I look at the woman in front of me. I've never seen her before... she has brown hair, and pretty blue eyes. Her hair falls in perfect brown spirals, and she tucks some of the hair behind her ear. She looks at me in sympathy... a look I've seen before, well not in a long time at least.

"I'm Belle, you're in Storybrooke."

I look around the room, I'm in a bed room. There is a huge window to my right, curtains drawn closed. I've never seen a room like this in my life, the walls were lined with bookshelves stacked with the maximum occupancy with books.

"Are you alright?"  
>She asks me taking a few steps into the room, she folds her arms across his chest. I nod.<p>

"I had a bad dream that's all."

I look away from her and down to my clothes, I'm still in my clothes from Neverland, and they're covered in mud.

"I'm making a mess..."

I whisper as I pull back the blankets and swing my legs over the side of the bed.

"... I'm sorry."

I whisper as I attempt to stand, but when I do my feet give out from under me. I fall to the ground, my hands on the edge of the bed. Belle bends down to help me up.

"Don't worry Tiger Lily, you just need to rest."

I look at her and shake my head in protest, what was happening? Why did I suddenly feel sick and dizzy?

"Why am I so weak? Why was I even asleep? I was conscious when we were dropped here by our shadows."

She goes to answer, but a male's voice answers for her.

"You lost a lot of blood back in Neverland dearie."

Rumpelstiltskin's voice states as Belle sits me on the edge of the bed, I look from her to him. Rumple stands there in a suit... I haven't seen a man in a suit in so very long... He holds a cane and leans on it as he watches me, and the woman who's helping me. I look away from him when his gaze grows too much for me to manage, I, instead glance down at my hand where I'd sliced into the skin... Someone stitched up the cut.

"Did you do this?"

I ask gesturing to the stitched mark, my eyes still from his.

"Yes... I couldn't let you bleed to death."

I smile bitterly recalling all the times I'd bleed in Neverland... those marks were much worse than this, and weren't as well cared for.

"It was only my palm..."

I pause before I realize how rude I must sound... Perhaps it was because I wasn't used to acts of kindness... Neverland wasn't known for that.

"...Thank you though. It was kind of you."

I whisper finally daring to look up from my hand. It's an awkward silence that descends upon us as I sit in silence.

"Belle could you give me a moment with her alone please."

He says it sweetly, but for some reason I'm suddenly worried about being alone with this man. Belle pats my leg gently and smiles before getting up from my side. She walks out of the room as Rumple walks in, closing the door behind him. He doesn't get too close to me, he simply stops at the foot of my bed.

"Is this when you kill me?"

I ask in a half joking voice, hoping that this isn't the case. He shakes his head 'no' giving me an unreadable expression.

"No, but I do need to talk with you about something, mind if I ask some questions?"

I look at the man I was told was my son, and nod.

"Sure, anything."

I mean the words I say, I did want him to ask me anything because I had nothing to hide.

"Obviously your intentions were pure, but I know Pan will follow you..."

I look up at him wide eyed at his statement, I knew he'd follow me too, and that scared me. I was paralyzed with fear at the mere mention of this person finding me.

"...You need to be careful. While I am the most powerful in all the realms, Peter Pan is very sneaky. He might try to hurt you, and if I'm not there it could end badly..."

He pauses looking at me, this time with a more cautious expression.

"...Tomorrow Belle will get you clothes that you'd like, and she'll help you settle into storybrooke, but the name Tiger Lily will give you away. The people here know of fairy tales and you were apart of Peter Pan's. You'll need a new identity."

A new identity? I remember that the other day I was reminded of who I used to be way before Neverland, and my time there... what was my name then? Amalia, that's what it was.

"Back before I ever went to Neverland I had another name..."

I whisper as my hands move over the fabric of my pants, my fingers toying with the fraying bits of fabric from where a hole had started to form.

"... It was Amalia... It was the name of a flower, my mother's favorite."

I mumble the second half of my statement, forgetting that I wasn't alone.

"Do you wish for me to call you that then?"

He asks as I feel a weird sensation flicker through me, I was going to have a whole new life...with a new name, with people that weren't going to try and murder me. It was refreshing... I was free. I give Rumple a smile.

"Yes, I would like that very much."

****Peter's Pov****

My jaw clenches as I watch her leave... A new found rage burns inside of me. No one left Neverland without my permission, and I wasn't going to let her be the first. I watch the shadow take her further and further away, the distance between growing more and more vast. The sound of a twig breaking snaps me out of my thoughts. I glance over my shoulder to see the faint silhouette of another person standing near me. They lean against one of the rocks, their face is hooded, but I know who it is... an old friend.

"Who knew the little flower had claws..."

I give a short chuckle before the figure steps out of the shadows and into the light of the still burning fire in front of me. I look at them, my eyes drifting to their face... across the right side of his face is a scar... A scar that etches into his skin across his cheek bone. This isn't just anyone... it's my second in command.

"...It's oddly out of character for her."

I nod turning to look back up at the sky, she's gone... they're both gone.

"She's got more fire that's for sure."

I look away from the stars illuminating the night sky, to my hand. There is a seven inch cut from my pointer finger to my palm, I smirk at the mark. My little Lily had finally bit back, and even though I wanted to punish her... I couldn't help but be impressed, and above all amused. Everything was going as I planned, even with the few hiccups that happened along the way.

"And you're sure that the shadow is going to take her back to storybrooke?"

He asks me this, his voice slicing through the silence that had engulfed us while I gazed at the mark my one love had given me... I haven't heard this person's voice in months... my second in command hadn't been around in so many months that it was haunting to hear it once more. I look at him without speaking for several seconds as I think about his question. Would Rumple take her to storybrooke? Yes, it would be the ultimate revenge against me, taking the one thing I've ever loved with him... My pathetic son would want to get back to his beloved Belle, and the rest of those insentient people. He was the same pathetic boy he'd been when I let him go. He'd return to Belle, no questions about it.

"Of course Felix, where else would that leech of a son go? And I know he'll take her with him."

Felix chuckles taking a few steps towards me, he's holding his club which rests against this shoulder as he holds it.

Felix watches me closely as he grins, he knows something is up my sleeve he always knew when I was up to something...

"What are you planning Pan?"

He asks as I lick my lips at the very thought that I was going to get everything I wanted... finally.

"They think they won... that they got away... but apparently they've learned nothing from me. I'm always one step ahead... I knew if I told her about Rumple, she'd want to help him, that she'd free him. I knew he'd take her with him after she freed him, and that ultimately they'd go back to Storybrooke."

He sighs nodding.

"And why does Storybrooke matter?"

I look at the cut once more before closing my fist... I wasn't going to let her get away, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let her go.

"Because Felix I don't have the heart of the truest believer, and I need to find a new way to live forever. And think about it, who else knows how to avoid death better than the infamous dark one? Rumple will help me find a way to live."

Felix smirks.

"Then why use the flower?"

He says her name as though she's delicate... as though she's something for him to protect. Normally his protection of her angered me, but I was going to ignore the way his eyes lit up when he talked about my little Lily.

"Because he'll trust her Felix, he'll tell her everything, and we both know I can get her to talk when I want."

The second I mutter the words Felix looks from me, his eyes suddenly becoming interested in the ground beneath his feet. He never liked when I talked about her like that... mentioning the influence I have over her, the power my hands have as I bend her to my touch. He's jealous that she's mine, not his. I grin looking at the slight sadness in his eyes as they stare at the ground.

"She thinks your dead."

I whisper taking a step forward. His brow furrows for only a moment, but he doesn't allow himself to feel hope, hope that my little flower cares for him.

"I was."  
>He states simply shrugging his shoulders. I did kill him... I did it for the curse, but that's the thing about Neverland, if you wish for anything, it can come back. Regina had reversed the damage done by the curse, and intern made it so Felix was alive once more, but I made sure he came back to Neverland. My most loyal lost boy wouldn't stay dead when I needed him.<p>

"She cried when I told her of what I did. She even called me a coward."

He closes his eyes when I tell him this, he seems torn between wanting to listen to me, and wanting me to stop speaking. He gives me a quick glance before he states.

"When will you go to Storybrooke?"

He asks moving his club from his shoulder to the ground, tracing the tip of the club in the muddy ground. I raise an eyebrow when he says this, there's a certain sadness to his voice. He's never been alone in Neverland before...

"It's not when am I going to Storybrooke, it's when are we going to Storybrooke..."

He looks up at me with a blank expression but there is concern in his eyes. I'm sure Storybrooke was the last place he wanted to go. Last time we were there I killed him all in order to start a curse.

"...We're going to check up on my little flower."


	14. Chapter 14

"Touch me and then turn away  
>And put your hands into the flame<br>Tell me if you feel this pain  
>Cause I don't want to be a ball and chain, no<br>I just can't keep hanging on, to you and me  
>I just don't know what is wrong."-Ellie Goulding<p>

Never in my life had I worn shoes like this... they posses a heal, but I have worn a heal so high.

"People walk in these?"

I whisper glancing at Belle who seems amused by the fact that I can barely stand in these shoes. Back in Neverland I was never forced to wear clothes like this, let alone shoes that added inches to my height.

"Yes Amalia they do."

She whispers as I look in the mirror of the store she's taken me to. Everything had changed in my years away, people now drove cars, and stores were much bigger than I ever saw back in my time in the enchanted forest. Belle has managed to change everything about me within the span of a few hours, she'd bought, and put me in makeup along with new clothes. She fixed my hair, and made me look like a proper lady. I wasn't sure if this would help me fit in... Storybrooke was a small town where everyone seems to know each other.

"Are you sure I'm wearing them right?"

They looked like boots, the kind that men and women who fought for the kingdom wore, only the heal is like nothing I've never seen before.

"You are."

She giggles as I turn away from the mirror, I shrug my shoulders.

"Maybe this was all a bad idea... He will find me, and perhaps staying here is a terrible idea."

I whisper knowing that Peter Pan wouldn't give up on me. I left his island before he was done with me, he'd come for me and he'd make me regret leaving.

"Come on, you're going to be okay. Rumple and I are going to take care of you."

I give Belle a frown as she reaches for me.

"You've got to trust us."

It wasn't that I didn't trust them, it's that I didn't trust Pan... I give her a smile not wanting to alarm her or seem more negative than I already did. She leaves me to pay for all the rest of the clothing she'd bought for me. I didn't understand why they were wasting money on me, but then again, my Neverland clothes would give me away. Once Belle's paid for the clothes she drags me to some place where they serve food. It's a small little "diner" as Belle calls it, there are many people, and they all know her as she brings me over to a table with chairs built into the wall. A woman serves us, she has white hair and glasses. She looks like a grandmother which is funny considering her name turns out to be Granny. Belle orders for me because I have no idea what I want to eat. She smiles at me as I nervously play with my long black curls.

"Granny makes the best food, I'm sure you'll love it..."

Her voice drifts as her eyes move from me to someone behind me. I glance over my shoulder and sigh I didn't really know what everyone looked like. I only knew their names, and that was because Pan told me. She's looking at a man, he has dark brown hair, and some facial hair. He looks over at Belle and smiles before walking over to us.

"... Amalia this is Bealfire, he's Rumple's son."

She says this all very pleasantly, but I didn't know how I should respond. Rumple's son? I decide I should smile.

"Hello."

I whisper giving him the smallest wave. He nods back with a small smile, but I can tell he's trying to figure out who I am. He doesn't recognize me from anywhere.

"Hey..."

He pauses looking from me to Belle.

"... Last night Robin Hood and I were keeping watch over the town, and two figures were carried here in the middle of the night. They were carried here by shadows."

Belle raises her eyebrows before shooting me a quick glance. She knows that it was us, but the people of this town didn't. I had been so stuck in my own self pity and fear of Pan showing up at any moment that I hadn't realized the rest of Rumple's family didn't know he was alive. I can tell Belle doesn't know what to say, but thankfully for her she doesn't have to say a thing.

"They really should put up a boundary spell up in this town..."

Rumple's voice cuts through the silence... Bealfire looks shocked, and why wouldn't he be? He thought his father was dead, and now he was hearing him speak. Tears move to his eyes before he turns to face Rumple. He doesn't hesitate to hug him, and its the kindest act I've seen in a long time. Living in Neverland, I'd manage to miss moments like, hell I barely remembered a time I was actually hugged by anyone.

"How is this possible?"

Bealfire asks looking at his dad. I know that Rumple wants to keep who I really am a secret. But maybe he'd want to tell his son that I was the reason for his second chance at life. Rumple glances at me as though he's trying to ask me for permission, permission to tell him. I nod knowing that he needed to open up to his son. I give him a small grin before looking at Belle, It suddenly felt like the room was tiny. Too many people were in this place at once... I stand up from where I'm sitting. I look at Rumple "I'm going to go get a drink... Besides I'm sure you'll all want a moment alone with each other."

I say this with a smile as Rumple looks at me.

"You okay?"

I nod.  
>"Yeah..."<p>

I pause glancing across the diner seeing the bar area, and the food they were serving.

"... I just thought I would give you all some family time."

I smile at everyone before walking across the room to the bar stools before I sit down. No one is there when I reach the counter, which I was thankful for because I needed space. I don't know what to do, or who I can talk to... no one knows who I am... It was oddly liberating to not be known, but I've never been more terrified... All I've ever known was Neverland, but now I didn't even have that. While I was angry with Peter, I would be lying if I said a part of me didn't miss him. Granny brings the food Belle ordered for me with a small smile before she leaves me alone. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I took a bite of the burger Belle picked for me. I eat it slowly, watching through the window of the dinner. Hours pass, and people come and go, the light outside fading from bright sun to a faded sunset. I lay my arm against the counter resting my head in my hand. My other hand is gripping a fork as I poke at my the last of the food in front of me. I have only been in storybrooke for a day, but I couldn't help but fear that the others wouldn't trust me. I was someone who Pan could bend to his will... but little did they know that it wasn't magic that gave him power it was love... Rumple was with his family, right where he should be, and it made me happy that he was united with them again. But I felt more alone than ever... I knew that I had no one in Storybrooke, and it made me sad.

"More Lemonade?"

A girl with a British accent asks as I look up from the counter and my plate, Wendy Darling looks at me sweetly while holding the pitcher of Lemonade in her hand. I nod, not knowing what to say. I knew who she was, but she didn't know of who I was... She didn't know that I knew about her and Peter... and I couldn't hate her for what they'd done. It was him that was to blame... not her.

"Yes Please."  
>I whisper after I nod, knowing that I should probably speak to her instead of looking at her blankly like an idiot. She laughs tucking some of her long blonde hair behind her ear.<p>

"Where are you from? I've never seen you before."

I smile back at her.

"I'm from Neverland."

I whisper as a glimmer of fear enters her eyes when after I say this. It's almost as if she thinks I'm Pan or that I'll hurt her.

"D-D-Do you work for Pan?"

She asks setting the lemonade down on the counter top next to my cup. I shake my head sighing.

"No, I don't. I used to be a friend of his... but that was a long time ago."

It was a white lie, but I didn't think it would matter if she knew the truth or not. I was nowhere near Neverland, or Peter Pan. We were both safe from his kind of evil. She breathes a sigh of relief.

"Sorry... ever since I left the island, I have been on edge. I'm so paranoid he'll come find me, and make me pay for telling his secrets."

My brow furrows at her comment... secrets? What secrets?

"What secrets would that be?"

She smiles at me.

"You don't know? He was dying and he needed Henry's heart as a trade so he could live forever."

I move my eyes from her gaze and feel my breathing catch in my throat. He told her that? I knew that he needed the heart of the truest believer, but I didn't know it was because he was dying... I thought he just wanted more power. He told her all of that? And he didn't tell me?... I smile.

"Thanks for the lemonade..."

I whisper reaching into my purse that Belle bought me. I pull out my wallet and leave her the money required to cover my bill. I give her a little extra for a tip. I needed space after receiving this information.

"... But I have to get going. I lost track of time, thank you..."

I already know her name, but I pretend to read her name tag.

"... Wendy."

She looks a little confused as to why I'm leaving in such a hurry, but she does nothing to stop me. I slip on my jacket and sling my purse over my left shoulder before walking out of granny's. I tuck my long curled black hair behind my ear as I walk down the stairs of the nice little restaurant. The pavement is wet from rain that sprinkles with each step I take, and it's night. There isn't a soul around and I'm thankful for that, because I need to cry. A tear slips down my cheek as I walk down the sidewalk, heading towards where Rumple lives. He wanted me to stay with him, allowing me to stay in an extra room... I wipe away a tear as I continue walking, but as I pass an alleyway I feel like someone is watching me. I glance at the ground hoping that somehow it's all in my head, and surely it must be. All those years in Neverland... they made me paranoid. He'd broken me so much that I couldn't even walk down a paved road without feeling like I was going to be attacked. I run my hands through my curled hair. I hear the sound of something get knocked over from behind me. I look behind me and sigh... was someone following me? I move quicker after hearing the sound, but the feeling doesn't fade... It only increases... someone is here. I turn to my right on the corner by the library and freeze in place when I see someone standing in the middle of the road. They're tall, and wearing a jacket that wraps around them almost like a cloak. My breathing is uneven, and I'm unsure of what to do... I want to run, but know that I can't... The figure turns around and I glare once I figure out who it is... Peter.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

I ask calmly as he chuckles, his eyes drifting up and down my body as he takes a step forward. He seems a little too enticed by new appearance, and clothes.

"I couldn't leave my little flower behind..."

He states this, his tongue darting over his lips as he chuckles.

"...I like the hair, and clothes by the way... it makes you look even more ravishing."

I roll my eyes.

"If you want your Wendy bird she's somewhere else, and I advice you stay away from her... she's a good girl."

He chuckles.

"I slept with her, and you still think she's a sweet little bird?"

I shove my hands in my pockets as the chill of the night begins to nip at my fingertips.

"You're the one to blame not her Peter."

He takes another step forward, and I take another back. I don't know how much power he has in this world, but I know last time he was here he jump started a curse, that ruined everyone.

"Amalia... you know you can't pretend you're one of them... they won't trust you and they never will."

The second the words pass his lips I hear the sound of footsteps... I glance over my shoulder and feel fear when I see Bealfire. He was never going to believe I was good now. I want to fit in here with these people... I've always dreamed of fitting in with people and not feeling alone... I haven't had that feeling in years... not since the passing of my parents. He chuckles when I look away from Bealfire. I feel like I'm going to break... I wanted space from him after finding out what he'd done, but now he was back, and there was nowhere I could go for safety.

"See Amalia no one will trust you."

I feel frustrated when he says this. I turn back to face him with tears in my eyes.

"Go back to Neverland. Leave me alone... you've done enough damage."

I shout this at him as the tears move down my face... I just want to get over him. He broke my heart, and I didn't need him coming back and making things worse for me. He takes a few steps forward, but I find that I cannot move. I don't know if it's because I'm upset, but I can't move... not even a little bit.

"Please leave me alone..."

I sob.

"... Please I just wanted my son, and to be free again."

Sympathy is in his eyes, but hatred is on his face. He's angry with my choice of words... I'd always promised him forever, but so had he, and he broke his promise.

"They can't stop me Amalia...You're mine."

He reaches me, but when his hand extends for me, he can't touch me... it's like a force field surrounds me.

"Hello Papa."

Rumple states this from behind me as Peter tries to move, but can't. I turn to face my son feeling a wave of relief.

"Ah Rumple how I've missed you..."

Peter says this from what sounds to be clenched teeth. I know that he's pissed off... especially being stuck at his son's whim.

"... It's good to see you've taken care of your mum."

I feel shivers move up my spine when I hear the lust in his voice.

"I'll keep her safe from you."

This statement only seems to make Pan chuckle, he may not be able to move, but he was still arrogant after all.

"But you miss me, don't you Lily?"

He says my nickname sweetly, but it strikes a nerve in me. I don't know what Rumple's going to do with him, but I hoped it would happen quickly.

"Bae..."

Rumple yells over his shoulder.

"... Take him back to my house, I have a special place for him."


	15. Chapter 15

"**Place a kiss on my cheekbone,  
>When you vanish me, I'm buried in the snow,<br>But something tells me I'm not alone,  
>But lovers hold on to everything,<br>And lovers hold on to anything"-Ellie Goulding**

Rumple's cellar looks like a dungeon. Dozens of barred doors lining the hallway on either side once you descend down the stairs. It's cold down here... colder than anything I've ever felt before. One of the rooms was chosen for Peter, and I decided to leave him some blankets. While I'm angry with him, I didn't want Belle to risk coming down here... I couldn't let anything happen to her, and who knew what Peter might do to her if she did come down... Rumple made it so the walls were enchanted, and no magic could be used once you were inside the rooms... Pan was finally powerless. I knock on the door before opening it, he's laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling when I walk into his little room.  
>"I brought you blankets, to keep you warm."<p>

I whisper as I close the door behind me, I'm not locked in with him, apparently the enchantment only keeps him spelled in. I put the blankets at the foot of his bed as his eyes drift over to me, a wave of hunger flickering in his eyes as he watches me. He seems a little too satisfied with how my new clothes look on me...

"You could keep me warm."

He says this as I roll my eyes, and glance away from him. I don't want to deal with him and his innuendos. I fold my arms across my chest as he sits up in the bed. He bites down on the bottom of his lip smirking.

"Why are you here in Storybrooke?"

I ask as he shrugs his shoulders.

"I missed you... is that so hard for you to believe?"

I glare at him, it was hard to believe. How was it that the most selfish boy of all time missed me? Was it boring without me there to entice him? No there was a reason he was here... there's always a method to his madness, but what was it? I think about it... Peter always had one weakness... and it was his crippling fear of aging, and now because he didn't have the heart of the truest believer he was having to face the possibility of death... or worse growing old.

"You're here because you're afraid of getting old, and you think you can make a deal with your son."

I state this holding my ground. He's never seen me like this, I used to do whatever he asked, but now, now I was tired of it. I was fed up with him and his antics. He likes how I talk back to him... he likes the fire in my eyes as I glare.

"Look at you..."  
>He whispers standing up from the bed.<p>

"... Such fire, such spunk... I did miss you."

He reaches out to touch me, but I push his hands from me.

"Don't touch me."

I state through clenched teeth. I glower up at him, and shock is written on his face. I've never denied his touch before... not in this life... not in the last. His eyes flicker up and down my body his gaze still on me.

"Tiger lily..."

He states, his hands once again reaching for me, but I still don't want him to touch me. Out of frustration I feel tears begin to form in my eyes as I back up. Before I left Neverland I found out about him and Wendy Darling. He'd been with her and me at the same time, and it hurt. It was a betrayal that I should've expected, I mean how could a man like Peter not play with a beauty like Wendy? Just looking at him made me feel sick, he'd done this to me, and done all sorts of awful things to others. He killed Felix, abandoned our son... I couldn't handle his touch, not now. I back up until my back presses against the brick of the walls. I start crying more than I ever have before. He stands in front of me moving his hands to the wall on either side of me. He watches me in silence as I stand there unable to care if he saw me break.

"... I did miss you."

He whispers as I look up at him. He doesn't get why I feel like this... it wasn't only because I found out about Wendy or what he did to our son, it was how cruel he was... I didn't know him, and I thought I did. This person was a stranger... a beautiful, sick and twisted stranger...

"Peter that's not what I'm upset with... Damn it... I missed you too. But you- you're not here for anyone but yourself. You want Rumple to help you stay young forever... you don't care about anyone."

I say this with my voice trembling... I sniffle as the tears stream down my face. He drops his hands from the wall. He looks at me and its strange to see how odd he looks to me... it's unlike any look he's ever given me before. This gaze lacks cruelty, he's honestly concerned. Usually if I cried in front of him he just left me alone, but this time it was different.

"I will not loose you my little flower."

He whispers as though talking loudly will further break me. I sigh.

"You'll loose everything if you don't change. You'll loose more than your youth."

He shakes his head in protest.

"After I lost you all those years ago, I changed. You wanted this family and I gave you that, but then you died, and you left me with your dream... I couldn't take it, I couldn't count on anyone. I was alone."

I bite down on the bottom of my lip as my gaze meets his.

"You're wrong Peter.. You weren't alone, you just made yourself that way."

His gaze hardens when I say this, but I don't mind. Someone needed to tell him this, someone needed to be unafraid of him, he deserved to be told the truth. Any sympathy his face held seems to flee when I say this, he keeps anger in his eyes.

"I'll leave you alone..."

I whisper after he doesn't respond.

"...There's a few blankets in that stack. They should keep you warm enough."

I slide past him and he says nothing. I don't want to leave him after I just told him off, but I needed to. I needed to be with my family... and he needed to sit here and think about what he did. I go to open the door, but his hand reaches out to touch my back. I freeze at his touch, a shiver going up my spine... even though it was only a few days without him I still felt like this was the first time he's ever been near me like this. I glance over my shoulder to look at him, as he sighs.

"Don't leave me like that..."

He pauses sighing once more.

"...Don't leave with tears in your eyes, and your makeup running down your face."

I move my hand from the door knob and turn slowly to face him. I don't want to give in to the softness of his voice because I don't know if he really means what he says or if he's just playing me like he plays everyone else. There is still no trace of arrogance in his eyes when I look at him, and his usual smirk is nowhere to be seen. He leans in and presses his lips against mine, a part of me wants to fight it, but I don't. I close my yes and kiss him back, his hands snake around my waist as he brings me in against him. Our lips don't break from each other as he pushes me up against the wall of his new room. He deepens the kiss as his fingers further entwine themselves in the strands.

"Amalia..."

He groans when his lips finally dare to leave mine. He looks down at me with traces of darkness in his eyes.

"... You were right."

I try and catch my breath, my chest rising and falling rapidly as he looks down at me.

"Right about what?"

I ask suddenly nervous... He sighs.

"I came here to find another way to live. If I can't have Henry's heart then I need something else. I'm dying."

He states this all quickly... I nod I already knew this.

"I know..."

I whisper as he raises an eyebrow at what I've said, he knows he didn't tell me.

"...Wendy told me."

I state looking from him. Without looking at him I can tell he's frustrated that I already knew. I already knew that he told another woman his secret.

"He won't help you."

I state as he nods.

"He will after I'm through with him."

My brow furrows as I study him. I can tell that nothing will be resolved tonight. He has plans and I know that even with our shared moment he was still a threat. He looks down at me.

"You know when I abandoned our son, I felt bad. I cried, and I hated myself because I did love him. I loved him because I knew that he was your dream, and letting him go was like letting you go."

He whispers. Hearing him even say the word 'abandoned' got under my skin. He admitted it, which was good, but hearing him say it out loud made it real. Without much thought I lean on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. I can tell he's taken aback by my sudden urge to kiss him, but I don't care... My hands end up running through his hair as we kiss, I break the kiss after several seconds though, I need air.

"Goodnight Peter."

I whisper this against his lips before I pull away from him. I need to leave now... I need to leave before I say more, or worse feel more. I turn my back to him and move my hand to the door knob.

When I step out into the hallway I see Rumple and it makes me jump, my hand moving to my heart as I close the door.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to take so long."

He nods, but I can tell something is on his mind.

"You heard everything didn't you?"

I ask as he sighs.

"Yes."

I look at him and feel as though I've been caught in a the most horrid of lies. I sigh tucking some of my hair behind my ear.

"Rumple... Peter and I are... i-it's complicated."

He puts his hands up in defense.

"You don't have to tell me all about the two of you. I get it you love him... even after all he's done to you."

I nod knowing that I'm wrong, wrong for loving a man who could do the evil he did. I'd seen what he did in Neverland, what he'd done to the boys. They may not have saw me, but I saw everything.

"You don't deserve this. What he's done to you... to everyone. The man you knew died when he became Peter Pan."

I nod once more looking at the ground, he was right, but this was something that I didn't want to address... something I didn't want to admit. I just wish that this wasn't happening.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's been a long night, and I all I want is to take a walk."

He nods looking away from me. I know that he wants me to hate Pan the way he hates him, but I just couldn't do it... I just couldn't.

I walk with my hands in the pockets of the jacket Belle had bought for me. I walk through the woods of Storybrooke. I breathe hoping that somehow the nature will take my mind off of everything that's happening. It's dark, but the stars keep me company as I walk across the leaf covered floor of the forest. Maybe it was because Neverland had lots of nature, but here I felt at home. I stop when I reach the tree closest to me, I lean against the bark and close my eyes for only a moment as the wind blew. I felt safe in the blanket of wind that wrapped around me.

"Look at you, dressed like one of them."

A voice states this from behind me, I freeze... I knew that voice.

"Felix?"

I whisper as I turn to face the source. When I do he smirks, he stands in the darkness, his silhouette barely visible in the darkness surrounding us. It's him, but how was this possible? He was dead...

"Lily."

His tone is colder this time, his blue eyes watching me as though I'm a game piece. He's calculating my every movement, but what I do next throws him off. I run to him wrapping my arms around him.

"Oh Felix, I thought you were dead... I thought he killed you."

I whimper as I hug him. I feel the tears before the fully start to form in my eyes. He sighs as I hold onto him, and eventually he wraps his arms around me in response. He hugs me with both arms which surprises me, but I don't want to say anything and ruin it. I cry into his chest as he holds me, my dearest friend.

"He did."

He states lifelessly, as I lift my head from his chest to look up him. When our eyes meet I see the sweetness of his gaze. To most people Felix wasn't capable of such emotion, but I knew better. I could see it tucked away in his deep piercing stare that he cared, cared more than he ever wanted to.

"I'm sorry."

I whisper. He shrugs his shoulders.

"You know how he is, he never fails."

I look at him and find that I can't believe his unwavering belief in his friend, even after everything. I sigh, Felix might be able to pretend that none of this is happening, but I knew. I knew all too well that Peter needed to change, but I couldn't deny what I'd learned earlier. Peter Pan was dying and I couldn't allow that, no matter how mad I was at him.


	16. Chapter 16

Felix follows me further into the woods, he stays close even though I know he normally likes to keep some space between the people he spent time with. He doesn't say a word as he walks forward, we were both torn. Torn between wanting revenge on Pan and wanting to save him. He was dying and he needed our help, and soon.

"He wanted to find you because he knew Rumple would capture him, it was all a distraction."

He states this carelessly as I freeze in place. I look at Felix's back feeling betrayed... Peter knew Rumple would keep me safe, if he's locked up no one would suspect that his dead best friend was out here snooping.

"Of course it was."

I state rolling my eyes. Was every moment Peter and I shared planned? Was there nothing between us that was real? Felix freezes glancing over his shoulder once he realizes that I'm not following behind. He sighs knowing that I'm sensitive when it comes to Peter, it wasn't a secret to Felix that I loved Pan.

"Tiger Lily..."

He whispers as I look away from him, hearing him say that Pan only sought me out in order to distract me hurt my feelings. I bite down on the bottom of my lip feeling the tears start to form. This was the third time tonight that I was crying all because of my love for Peter.

"... You know it wasn't personal."

I shrug my shoulders.

"How can you say that? He told me all these lies because he knew you'd be out here willing to look for a way to kill him. Your his most trusted soldier, you'll do whatever he says."

He sighs once more turning to face me. The moonlight only seems to highlight the anger in his eyes as he watches me from a few feet away. He rolls his eyes before he strides forward, but I don't move even though I'm slightly afraid. I will not show fear.

"You act like I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart, but you're wrong. I'm more than a good soldier, I'm loyal, and I will not loose my only friend. Neverland is my only home, and I will not loose it because no one in this damn town is willing to give up the heart of some brat."

I look up at him as a tear slips by, sliding down my cheek. To Felix Neverland was everything, it was the only place he felt safe. He felt at home, and I knew that... I knew that despite what Peter did to him, he always viewed Pan as family. It didn't matter how many fights they had, after all every family has its fights.

"Loyalty can be a good thing Felix, but how many more times does he need to hurt you before you see that he doesn't care about you?"

I ask this as he rolls his eyes.

"I don't know Lily, how many times will it take you to realize that? How many times does he need to hurt you? You're just as loyal as I am."

I glare up at him because he's right, I have no room to talk when I wanted to save Peter as much as he did. I want to walk away, but when I go to turn away he stops me.

"Don't walk away from me Tiger Lily. You know he's difficult to deal with, he has a temper, but we respect him despite what our instincts might tell us. He is our family, and I don't think your the kind of person who could let the man you love die."

I look up at him feeling my breathing hitch in my throat, he's never looked at me this way before...

"I'm also not the kind of woman who would allow my great-grandson to die. If we want to save him we find another way, I will not let Henry die."

He nods.

"It's funny that you're so protective of people you've only just met, all because your blood related."

I shrug my shoulders.

"I've always been protective of the people I care about..."

I pause remembering what he just said to me... He said that Pan was only his friend, but he was wrong.

"... And you're wrong Felix, I'm your friend. I've always been your friend."

He looks down at me, emotion in his eyes shifting from anger, to something I can not detect. He looks away from me for only a moment before he moves his hands to my face. He moves in closer, his lips nearing mine. I feel panic rush through me... the last time he'd done this Peter beat him. He beat him to a point where Felix could've died...

"Please... please don't."

I whimper as his lips stop less than an inch from mine. I must've started crying while he got closer, because I feel my tears betray me, he feels them too as they touch his skin.

"It's strange isn't it? How things we haven't thought about in years still have the ability to make us cry."

He whispers before moving his lips to my forehead where he places a tender kiss... no one has ever kissed me so softly...

"Go back home."

He breathes before he pulls away from me. I look at him confused... where will he go?

"And what about you?"

I ask as he smiles.

"Me? Why Tiger Lily here in the forest is the only place I'll ever feel at home."

He turns from me and walks forward without a second glance, and I just watch him before his silhouette disappears into the darkness leaving only the sound of his footsteps fading into the shadows like a ghost crossing over.

When I do go back home, I feel empty. I don't know if seeing Felix was supposed to make me feel better, if anything it made my feelings of conflict worse. I knew Pan would come for me, but I never imagined having to save him when he did appear. I want to go back to my room, but my mind drifts to Peter who is still in Rumple's basement.

"Amalia, are you okay?"

I hear Belle ask as I walk up the stairs, there is concern on her face, even after I nod. She can see right through me, but I don't know if I can open up to her.

"Are you worried about Peter?"

She asks once I reach the upstairs landing.

"I'm worried about him, about Rumple, about everything. I just wish things were simpler."

My response is honest, and I think that she respects that.

"Go talk to him."

She whispers as though she's ashamed she mentioned it, I knew she didn't approve of Peter, and I didn't blame her. People had every right to fear him.

"I just don't want to play games anymore. I don't know if he's telling me the truth half the time."

She gives me a smile.

"Well if there's one thing I've learned from Rumple it's that things are rarely what they seem to be. Surely there's a reason you care for him. You need to prove to him that your love means something, and that he can't treat you that way. I'm sure he wasn't always this way, and from Rumple's told me, you mean a lot to him, and if you do then he'll at least listen."

Her advice is wonderful, but I didn't know if I could really take it. She knew how to deal with Rumple... but Peter, Peter is someone entirely different.

I'm hoping the click of my heals don't give me away as I go down the basement stairs and walk across the cement floor. I move down the hallway hoping he can't hear me, it'd be nice to actually have the upper hand on him, for once. I move my hand to the door knob, and turn it. Breathing a deep sigh I open it, popping my head in and looking at him. He's laying on his back, hands behind his head. Someone must've left him clothes, because he's wearing regular jeans, and a black v-neck shirt. He looks up and smirks when he sees it's me, I take a step into the room walking in and closing the door behind me.

"Did you miss me?"

He asks smirking once more. I shrug my shoulders.

"I was bored upstairs."

I whisper as I fold my arms across my chest. He chuckles sitting up in the bed.

"So you came to me, I feel so special."

I roll my eyes, he sounds arrogant, which I find funny considering he's currently a prisoner.

"I came to you because for 250 years you were the only person I had when I was lonely."

I whisper looking at the ground of his bedroom floor. I can feel his gaze on me without looking up and I'm suddenly unsure of my decision. Maybe I shouldn't have come down here...

"Are you lonely?"

He asks as I finally dare to look up. He looks at me as I walk over to him, I stand in front of him at the foot of his bed. I nod.

"I do feel lonely... I miss you."

I whisper as though I'm ashamed. I don't open up to him, not like this.

"I like the sound of that."

He mumbles before placing his lips to mine. It's a quick kiss, but I can't help but I feel the weight of how important it is. When I pull back he smiles at me... a genuine smile, one that I haven't seen in years.

"How are you liking your new little home?"

I ask him before looking around the room, it's empty and there are no windows... it must be awful down here. He sighs.

"I need something to keep me entertained."

I know he means me, but I'm unsure of if I want to encourage this behavior... I look up at him as he wraps his hands around my waist. I feel my stomach turn and I press my hands against his chest.

"P-Peter that's not a good idea."

He bites down on the bottom of his lip.

"Why is that my little flower? Do you not miss me?"

I nod.

"I do, but Peter... I just came down here because I wanted to see you, not because I wanted to be used by you."

He raises his eyebrows.

"Used?"

He asks as my gaze drifts from his.

"I saw Felix in the forest... He told me that this is all a distraction.. and when he told me that it made me feel worthless. All I am to you is a game... you like watching me break underneath your touch and that's not how it should be."

He looks at me and sighs pulling me in once more, but this time he pulls me down onto the bed. My body crashing on top of his as he holds me, it all happens so fast that I'm left feeling a bit dizzy.

"What are you doing?"

I state before I try to get back up. He stops me guiding me from his body to the mattress next to him.

"Tiger lily, relax."

He whispers as he glances over at me, we study each other as my chest rises and falls rapidly. For a moment I thought he was going to make a move on me, but I soon realized that he wasn't going to hurt me. He can sense my unease as he guides me to lay closer to him, my head on his chest.

"You can trust me."

He states as his fingers move to my hair as he begins to mess with the strands. It takes me a few minutes for my heart to actually calm down, the beating still rapid from how quickly everything has happened. I nuzzle my head against his chest as the anxiety fades. He is touching me so gently it almost hurts... he's never touched me like this... It reminded me of how gentle Felix had been with me...

"P-Peter... what are you doing?"

I ask as he chuckles.

"I'm laying with you..."

He pauses as he kisses my forehead.

"... We've done this before."

He whispers, as I lift my head to look at him.

"No we've never laid like this... you've never touched me like this."

His eyes flicker to my mouth before he leans in and kisses my lips tenderly. He chuckles once the kiss is broken, his eyes on me.

"Amalia I do love you."

He kisses the top of my head before laying his head back, eyes on the ceiling. I want to talk, but find that I can't. I don't know what to say... is there anything I could say? He was dying and for the first time in our relationship he was being kind, but I couldn't help but wonder why he was so intent on making this moment magical. Because as most people know, magic like this comes with a price.


	17. Chapter 17

"The truth is hiding in your eyes  
>And its hanging on your tongue<br>Just boiling in my blood  
>But you think that I can't see<br>What kind of man that you are  
>If you're a man at all<br>Well I will figure this one out  
>On my own "-Paramore<p>

"I love you."

Is the only thing I mumble over and over again as he holds me. After hours of us laying together, breathing in unison as his fingers toy with the curls in my hair. He kisses my head and hums the tune his pan flute used to make back home... I close my eyes and hold in the tears. Every moment that passed Peter Pan was dying and I needed to find away to help him survive.

"I don't want to loose you."

I whimper as I sit up in the bed, his eyes on me. He sighs.

"You won't. I just have to hope that Rumple will be willing to help me."

I nod.

"It's strange how after everything that you did to him... he's the only way you can live."

He doesn't respond verbally at first, he instead looks at the ceiling. He bites down on the bottom of his lip unsure of what to say to me.

"Tiger Lily. I can't take away what I did to him, and I get that I shouldn't have done that, but I can't fix it now."

I sigh.

"I don't want to fight with you about this... I just want you to be okay. I just got my family back and I refuse to loose you all. I love you, and I love him."

He reaches out to touch me his hand moving to my back.

"I know."

I don't know what to say... there is a silence that falls over us. After several minutes I get up from the bed without speaking. He watches me leave in silence before I lock him in his enchanted little prison. When I do the tears come back. I rest my head against the door as the tears spill over. I bite down on the bottom of my lip holding in any sound that dares to pass my lips. I love him more than anything.. and he was dying.

"Tiger lily."

Rumple's voice asks states quietly through the silence. I stop crying, but only long enough to look over my shoulder. The second his gaze meets mine the tears return.

"Rumple... I'm sorry..."

I pause moving from the door because I don't want Peter to hear anything.

"Did he hurt you?"

He asks as I approach him with my arms folded across my chest. I shake my head in protest looking at him sadly.

"No... it's just he's dying and I don't know what to do. There must be another way to save him, a way that doesn't end with Henry's life. Because I don't want anything to happen to him, he doesn't deserve it."

I look at Rumple in desperation, he doesn't know how to respond. He doesn't like Peter and I don't blame him. Who could like a father like that? A man who'd traded him as though he was nothing. I know that he most likely won't help me, and if he won't I'll find a way to save Peter... it would just be easier if the dark one helped me. He sighs reaching for me, his arms wrapping me in an embrace.

"Don't cry..."  
>He pauses.<p>

"...I will look into it, but I'm not doing this for him... I'm doing this for you."

I look up at him wide eyed as my tears move down my face. I want to hug him, but find that I can't move... I'm too shocked by his agreeing to help me.

"Why would you help me?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Because I trust your judgment. Peter Pan doesn't protect people or love them, and he loves you...Which means that you make him feel. Something I didn't think he knew how to do anymore."

I give him a small smile.

"Thank you."

I whisper as he nods.

"Don't thank me, thank Belle... she's the one that told me you were down here and that she thought something was bugging you."

I look from him to the basement ground feeling thankful that Belle said something... I wouldn't have had the courage to come to him and ask for his help. He looks at Pan's door sighing.  
>"It will be okay, I promise."<p>

Night turns to day, and I am alone again. I sit in the room Rumple gave me and I glance out the window. Storybrooke was beautiful, and I couldn't help but look at how lovely the sunshine made everything. I sigh looking at the closet of clothes Belle had made up for me. As beautiful as this place was, it wasn't home. I was so used to Neverland that this place seemed to be nothing more than a void that couldn't be filled. I get up from the bed and change into a new outfit, I need to get out of the house. I felt like the walls were closing in around me, and I needed freedom. I brush my teeth, and my hair before I leave the house. Walking through the town I keep my eyes down, out of fear that people would see me and wonder who I am. I hold my coat closer to me as the wind blows, I wasn't used to the cold, Neverland was usually warm...

"Amalia!"

I hear someone yell my name from behind me which causes me to freeze in place. No one really knows me, except Rumple's family, but this voice wasn't any of them. I turn to face the source of the voice and smile slightly when I see Wendy Darling.

"Hey! I was on my way to work when I saw you."

She says stopping in front of me with a big smile. I don't know what to say to her, I simply smile back.

"Hey..."

I whisper awkwardly feeling bad that I'm so awkward.

"... How are you?"

I ask tucking some of my hair behind my ear hoping I don't sound as weird as I feel. She smiles.

"Let me guess, you're not used to being out of Neverland? You feel like you're all alone."

I look at her in wide eyed, she was right... that was exactly how I felt. I nod in response.

"Yes, that's exactly how I feel. Did it happen to you too?"  
>Her smile widens after I finish speaking.<p>

"Yes, the first few weeks were the worst. I didn't want to go back home, because I felt like that was only going to make me sad. Most of the people I knew aren't here anymore... So I stayed here. I had to learn to live again, but I promise it does get better in time."

She reaches her hands out to take mine.

"I could ask granny if she needs another waitress, maybe getting out of the house will make you feel better."

I smile back at her, feeling gratitude for her willingness to help me. I want to respond, but when I go to someone's voice interrupts.

"Look at you two, being friendly."

Felix's voice rings in my ear as I turn to face him. I can tell Wendy is nervous around him by the way she stands. She stands straight looking at him as if he was going to hurt her.

"Felix."

I say his name as though it's a warning. I don't need him scaring off Wendy. He seems amused by the tone of my voice.

"Relax little flower, I came to see you..."

He pauses looking at Wendy for a moment.

"... The irony of you two being friends... it's very entertaining."

Neither Wendy or I seem to want to answer him. She looks like she's going to faint...

"What is it you need Felix?"

I state simply as I take a step forward, his grin growing when I do.

"I just need to speak to you... preferably without the bird around. We all know how she likes to sing when she shouldn't."

His eyes dart to Wendy giving her a look of warning. She tries to ignore the look in his eyes, the hatred seemed to burn brighter than anything I've ever seen before. Wendy's eyes move to me before she gives me a small smile.

"I'll talk to granny, and get back to you."

She walks past Felix quickly moving as fast as she can to get away from us. I look up at him and narrow my eyes.

"Did you really need to do that? She's a nice girl."

He rolls his eyes.

"Nice? Sure, she's sweet with her accent, but the bird isn't as innocent as you'd think."

I stare up at him and sigh.

"It doesn't matter what she is Felix, all that matters is whatever you need to tell me."

He nods smiling down at me.

"Follow me then."

Felix leads me to a beach, the sand underneath my feet making it hard to stand. I shiver as the wind blows a breeze brushes over the water hitting my face. I look at him wide eyed and cautious, had he found something? Something that helped me cure pan and saved him from dying?  
>"What is it you wanted to tell me Felix?"<br>I ask tucking some hair behind my ear. He looks down at me giving me a small smile.  
>"I wanted to see if rumple had any way of saving peter."<br>I look at him confused... How did he know that I'd asked rumple? He seems amused by my confusion.  
>"I figured you'd go to rumple he knows many ways to avoid death. He is he dark one after all."<br>I sigh. Like peter, Felix was always one step ahead.  
>"He said he'd help."<br>Is all I can muster before I can't bare to look at him any longer. I instead stare out at the water and focus on how the sun shines along the surface of the water. Felix sighs knowing that I feel helpless.  
>"Tiger lily everything will be alright. He's not going to die."<br>I bite down on the bottom of my lip. I hadn't even realized how sad I felt. Everything was one big mess and I felt like my world was collapsing... Tears brim my eyes as I run my hands through my long black hair  
>"Felix... I don't what to do. Everything is different... I mean this life is so much more complex than I'd ever imagined. I don't know who I am or how to even begin finding myself. I don't want to loose him, but don't know how to fix it. What if rumple can't fix it? Then what do we do?"<br>I glance over my shoulder... Felix doesn't know what to do, he simply sighs.  
>"We can fix it. We won't let him die."<p>

I turn away from him once more looking at the water again. I want to scream... I've felt sadness before, and loneliness, but I don't remember a time when I didn't have Peter.

"I'm scared Felix..."

I whimper as a tear escapes my eye.

"...I won't want to loose him. I just got my family back, and I can't loose them again."

He doesn't respond verbally, he instead reaches out to touch me, his hands on my back. He guides me to face him.

"Little Lily don't cry... Rumple will come through."

I had faith in my son... I knew he was a wise man who knew many things, but it didn't change the fear I felt.

"I hope so..."

I whisper looking up at him feeling nothing but desperation.

"... Because I refuse to loose him."


	18. Chapter 18

"Things will never change, if we remain the same."-The Used

"Because I refuse to loose him."

My words have an impact on Felix as we stand in front of the lake. I look up at him, and am unsure of what to do. We were both afraid of loosing Peter… he was all we knew, and after years of living in Neverland we'd grown loyal to the boy who could cause so much pain when he wanted to. We wouldn't let our leader die, no we would find another way to help him live forever. No matter what, he wouldn't die.

"You have determination in your eyes little lily. You're lucky Pan's not here, I have no doubt he'd find your determination to be very sexy. He'd want to make you his in his own special way."

I roll my eyes as I look up at my best friend as he reaches for me, his hand on my face. He's trying to sooth me even though my heart is racing.

"Felix now is not the time for such words. Rumple has many tricks up his sleeve, but I can't afford to wait. Not while Pan's time is running out."

I sigh looking away from Felix, I instead, glance out at the lake. We had to find something… anything that could help us. In Neverland there was a waterfall that contained magic that could heal people. Did this land have magic that could do such a thing? Surely Rumple would know something about Storybrooke magic, especially since he's the dark one.

"You could ask the boy what he knows."

Felix states when my eyes move back to his.

"The boy? Which boy?"

Felix looks amused when I say this, it's as if I should know it without asking.

"Henry… Henry was the boy who had the heart of the truest believer. If anyone knows anything about magic that could heal, it would be him."

Henry… my great-grandson… The very person I've not yet met. I'd heard of him of course, but I couldn't just ask him for help.

"I can't just go up to him and ask for help. His mother is the savior, his grandparents are Snow White and Prince Charming. Pan is the enemy… no one is going to want to help me. The only reason Rumple is, is because he wants to help me, because I'm family."

Felix chuckles darkly.

"Then make it a game my sweet little lily. Play them, find out how to help Peter and then we'll save him."

I give him a wide eyed gaze as a feeling of horror flickers through me.

"I can't do that… I want to have my family… not to push them all away."

He smirks, shrugging his shoulders before he lets go of me, his body turning away. He walks from me and doesn't stop until he reaches the start of the forest.

"If you don't do anything then you're signing his death warrant Tiger Lily, and you better not come crying to me when you realize it's your fault he died."

I watch him in silence as the sound of twigs beneath his feet breaking keep me company. I feel the tears moving to my eyes, and the lump in my throat burns. How could he blame me? I didn't do this to Peter… I didn't make him trade his son for youth. I didn't tell him to make a deal with a shadow. I sigh closing my eyes… Damn Felix, and his ability to get inside my head… That's probably why Peter brought him here to begin with, so I wouldn't fail him. Peter knew that Felix could get me to do the things, he never could. I stand there in the forest for several minutes, maybe even hours. I don't know what to do, and wasting time seemed to be the only thing I could do. I take my time heading back into town, I still can't tell anyone who I am, but I felt like every person in Storybrooke knew. This is a small community, surely they could tell a new person when they saw one. I don't want to go back to Rumple's house, so I just go to Granny's. When I walk in a bell by the door signals my entrance.

"Hey!"

Wendy says with excitement as I walk in, she wears a smile, but the smile drops when she sees my face. She can tell I'm sad, not that I was trying to hide it. Tears brim my eyes as I walk to the bar area. There aren't many people in here, just unknown faces, the only one I recognize is Wendy's.

"What ever is the matter Amalia?"

She asks when I take a seat. I needed to tell someone… I needed a friend, a friend who understood what it felt like to love Peter.

"Can I talk to you?"

I ask her in a barely there whisper she nods. She pours me some water and watches me in honest concern.

"I am more than a friend of Peter's… I'm tiger lily."

I whisper this not knowing if my honesty is the best idea. She looks at me wide eyed as she covers her mouth with her right hand in shock.

"His little Lily…"

She whimpers as tears fill her eyes. She knew of me?

"… I'm so sorry…"

She puts her pitcher of water down on the counter next to her.

"… I didn't know about you, until it was too late… He told me about you after months of us being together, and then I never let him touch me again."

She looks at the counter top sadly. She knew about me after they'd slept together, he told her. I shrug my shoulders.

"I'm not mad at you… believe me if anything I understand his allure."

She shakes her head in protest.

"You're the mother of his son… he told me that he was keeping you in the dark. He is such a cruel boy…"

She closes her eyes, shaking her head.

"… Is he here?"

She whispers as I nod.

"Yes, but he's dying. Since he never got the heart he needed he's dying. The only reason he's still alive is because of a spell I used to bring him back. It momentarily restarted his power, but now he's back to where he was, and I'm trying to save him, and I just don't know what to do. And I'm sorry that I'm telling you all of this because it's a lot to take in, but I really needed someone to talk to."

I say it all so fast that it takes her a few minutes to take it all in. But once she does, all she can do is reach her hands out for mine. She smiles at me.

"I will be here for whatever you'd like to talk about. As for him dying… excuse me for saying this, but perhaps its for the best. He tried to murder this whole town, tried to kill your great-grandson, and your grandson. Whatever you feel for him, you need to remember what he's done to them, and to you."

I give her hands a gentle squeeze, but I'm unsure of how to respond. Could I really just let him die? No… I couldn't.

"What if I bring him back, but make sure that he leaves storybrooke? Maybe he'll want to go back to Neverland. He loved it there, it was his place where he could dictate everyone around him, I doubt he'll want to stay here."

She nods.

"But what will he do without you."

She asks. The second I see the sympathy in her eyes, I have to look away.

"He doesn't need me. He uses my emotions to his advantage, he doesn't love me."

She sighs.

"Amalia. He may be a cruel boy, but I know he cares for you. He protected you from all of this for a reason. Once I found out about you he locked me up and kept me around only for leverage, but you… He wanted you to be safe."

I laugh bitterly at her words. The only reason he kept me 'safe' was because he didn't want me to know the truth. The truth that the boy he needed to become all powerful was my great-grandson. He wanted me kept in the dark because he wanted to manipulate me and use me in the worst of ways. He liked me to give into his lust, his hunger, and I'm not blaming him… I did it to myself.

"He didn't want me to know the truth Wendy, that's the only reason he did that. It wasn't love, it was self preservation."

Wendy gives me a sad expression.

"No. He loves you. I saw it in his eyes."

She sighs looking around me and at whoever just walked in. She moves her hands from me and smiles.

"Hello Henry! Let me guess hot coco with cinnamon?…"

She giggles at something he does.

"… I knew it."

She smiles at me before returning to her job. I don't want to look at him, but when he sits down next to me, I find that I have to.

"You're not from here."

He states with a smile. I look at him and nod. He has brown eyes like mine… like Rumple's and Bae. It's strange looking down at him, and knowing that he wouldn't be here, if not for Peter and I.

"Are you okay?.."  
>He asks.<br>"…You look like you've been crying."

I fake a smile, because I don't want to seem rude.

"It's just my allergies, I'm fine. Thank you for asking, you're very kind."

He smiles back at me before Wendy returns with his hot coco, which she places in front of him.

"Is that all you want Henry?"

She asks as he nods. She shoots me a small smile, and then walks away, tending to the other people who've just walked in.

"So, you're tiger Lily?…"

When he asks me this my stomach turns. I look over at him, not understanding how he knows its me… had he been listening to my conversation with Wendy? He seems to sense my unease, and explains himself.

"… You don't need to be scared. I know you aren't bad."

I sigh.

"How do you know?"

I ask as my body shakes… I don't know how Rumple's going to react when he finds out the boy knows of who I am. He laughs taking a sip of his hot coco.

"Because Wendy was talking to you. If Wendy trusts you then I do… And my father mentioned that you helped bring back Rumpelstiltskin."

I give him a small smile, and then look away. Even though I didn't know this boy, I feel an instant connection to him. How could Peter want to take his heart? How could he ever even try? This boy is our family, but apparently family didn't mean anything to Peter.

"Anyone would do it."

I state, shrugging my shoulders. Henry's smile grows.

"No, not everyone would go up against Peter Pan. You're very brave."

He states taking another sip of his hot coco. I smile.

"He's just a boy."

I whisper more to myself than to him. He studies me for a few seconds before speaking.

"I just have a question for you… why didn't my dad tell me who you really are?"

My brow furrows as I look at him.

"What do you mean?"

He laughs.

"I know who you are. You're Tiger Lily… You're Rumple's mother."


	19. Chapter 19

I look at the boy who had once drove Pan mad with determination. The boy who was the source of Pan's obsession. Henry was a special boy, and it had nothing to do with the fact that he had the heart of the truest believer. He was a smart little thing that's for sure.

"How do you know who I am? How do you know that I'm Tiger Lily?"

I am on edge. The whole point of staying under cover was so that no one would know who I am, but it would seem every effort I've taken to fit in isn't working. Especially if Henry knew who I was without me even hinting at it. Henry simply smiles at me before taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

"A few months ago when my family and I were trying to leave Neverland, Peter found me on Hook's boat. He tried to take my heart from me, but it didn't work, and Rumple stopped him. Rumple put him him in Pandora's box, but before Peter was put in the box he'd switched bodies with me. He was inside my head for a few days while I was trapped inside that box in his head. When we switched bodies I got to see some of his memories, and I saw you. I saw that he loves you, and that you're Rumple's mother."

I look away from him, studying the counter top of the dinner. Peter had switched bodies with Henry? How did I not know that? I seemed to know mostly everything, but then again Peter had a way of keeping important things from me. I tuck my hair behind my ear and breathe a deep breath.

"I'm sorry he did that to you."

I whisper giving him a small smile. Henry simply shrugs his shoulders.

"It's okay, but I just want to know one thing; Why are you hiding?"

He looks at me with a hopeful gaze, as I sigh.

"Because if everyone knows who I am, they'll hate me. All because I love the person who tried to ruin all of your lives. I'm guilty by association."

He shakes his head in protest.

"That's not true, I know you're not bad! It's all Pan, he's the bad one! I heard from my dad that you saved Rumple! If you were bad then you wouldn't have saved him."

I shrug my shoulders, there's nothing I can say. There's nothing I can do to take away the damage done by Peter.

"Henry. Rumple is my son... of course I saved him."

He smiles up at me.

"I know... that makes you my great grandmother."

I feel my heart stop when I look at him. I never dreamed of meeting my great-grandson... I never thought I would ever get the chance. I run my fingers through my hair, my eyes moving to the counter top of the dinner.

"He's dying isn't he? That's why he came back."  
>Henry states, sympathy in his voice. How did he know that? Probably because he was inside of Pan's head... I nod, sadness hitting me.<p>

"Yes. I'm trying to find a way to save him, and I want to do it without the heart of the truest believer. I'm looking for something that can reverse magic, and heal."

Henry reaches for me, his eyes wide with realization. I can tell that he knows something...

"My book of fairy tales has a story in it where this water had healing properties. This water healed a man who was turned to gold. It was back in the enchanted forest."

This magical water sounds perfect, except this world isn't magical like the enchanted forest. How could we use water that isn't even here? And I have no way of getting to the forest. Jumping from realm to realm was impossible without a portal jumper, and I didn't kwow any.

"That sounds like a lovely idea, but Henry this isn't the enchanted forest. How would we find water like that in a world without magic?"

He smiles.

"Rumple can make all sorts of potions! Maybe he'll know how to replicate it."

I look at him and smile.

"Henry... thank you so much for talking to me... You've really helped me."

He gives me a look of triumph as I get up from the seat. Rumple was very powerful and if anyone could help me it was him. I finally felt like I was getting somewhere... for the first time in days I felt like there was a chance I could save Peter...

My knuckles are white as I knock on the door to Peter's room. I haven't seen him in a day, but it felt like years. I open it after a few seconds, taking a step inside. He's laying in bed wearing the same clothes I'd last seen him in. He breathes a deep breath before, his eyes move from the ceiling to me.

"Ah my little flower finally came to visit me. I was beginning to think that you would never come."

I give him a small smile as I shut the door behind me.

"I found a way to help you live..."

I feel excited when I say this as he sits up in his bed. His green eyes hold intrigue as I continue.

"... Henry told me of a lake that can heal people, and reverse curses. I think Rumple can duplicate that magic and I think it could save you."

Peter's eyes light up as he watches the way my chest heaves with excitement. I did it... with the help of Henry I'd figured out how to help him. He smirks gesturing for me to move to him, which I do. I walk to him, stopping in front of him as he sits on the edge of his bed. He grins up at me moving his hands to my waist, he pulls me in.

"Amalia... I don't know what I could say to thank you."

His voice is drifting to a more lustrous tone. He smirks standing up from the bed, his hands guiding my body up against his. He presses his lips to mine, groaning when I kiss him back.

"I love you."

He whispers as his fingers lace through my hair.

"I love you too."

I mumble as my breathing grows uneasy... the kiss seemed to take a lot of energy out of me. He wraps me in an embrace.

"I know that I don't deserve this chance, but I need you to know how much this means a lot to me."

I know it meant a lot to him because his biggest fear was dying, and now he was going to be able to live. I hug him back as we breathe in unison. It's silent for several minutes, but the silence says enough.

I look up at him and sigh as I press my lips to his. His hands wrap tighter around my waist as he holds me closer. I want to stay with him, but at the same time I wanted to go find Rumple and ask him to do what needed to be done. When I break the kiss I smile up at him.

"I should probably go talk to Rumple... I need to have him replicate the water."

I would've thought that he'd want me to go. That he would've wanted me to run along and do this so he could live, but he seems lo give me a look of protest.

"You can do that later."

He whispers sitting back down on his bed, he pulls me onto his lap and leans in to press his lips back to mine.

"I have spent the whole day down here all alone. I want you to stay with me Tiger Lily. Every day for the last 300 years you've been there when I needed you, and I don't like us being apart."

I gulp after he's finished speaking, tears moving to my eyes. He's never spoken to me like this.

"You better not be saying this just to say it. You better not be playing with me Peter."

I whisper this as we lock eyes, he smirks placing his hands on my face.

"You know the kind of games I like to play don't involve sweet words my little Lily."

He was right... usually when he toyed with me it wasn't through words, no usually it was through action. He usually did whatever he wanted without thinking twice. He gives my forehead a tender kiss before locking eyes with me.

"So will you stay with me?"

He sounds so hopeful, and without even meaning to I nod.

"Yes, but then I need to get to Rumple."

He smiles, loving the fact that he'd won. He lays back in bed, my body straddling his.

"You've done a very good job my little flower. I knew you'd find it before Felix."

I sigh as his hands wander down my torso.

"Oh?..."

I whimper as his hands move my shirt up a bit.

"... And how is that?"

He chuckles.

"As great of a right hand man Felix is. You've always been good at getting this pretty little nose into places where no one else can. I told him that if anyone could help me it was you."

I giggle as he leans in making his lips meet mine.

"I learned from the best."

He moves his lips to my neck, my eyes fluttering closed at the contact.

"Are you admitting that you learned from me?"

I nod wordlessly agreeing with his sentence.

"Tiger Lily... I love you very much..."

He rasps.

"... Thank you."

Hearing him say thank you was music to my ears... music that was almost as addictive as his pan flute...


	20. Chapter 20

"I think I'm lost  
>I think I'm broken<br>It's not what I wanted  
>The verdict won't change<br>I've gone off the razor's edge  
>Thought it would be different<br>Was treading the water  
>'Til it took me under"- Digital Daggers<p>

His lips were sweet, just like a piece of candy. He'd spent the better part of the night thanking me in his own special way, but now as I awoke, I felt determination. Determination to do what needs to be done. His arms wrap around me holding me tight, I glance over my shoulder to look at him. I'd missed him, we hadn't been this close since we were in never land... Before all hell broke loose.  
>"I should go..."<br>I whisper as his body stirs next to me, and I look away. I needed to get moving, especially if I want to talk to Rumple about saving Peter. He kisses the back of my head, his grip tightening.  
>"... I need to talk to Rumple. I have to save you and I can't do that if we're naked and in bed."<br>Peter chuckles darkly in my ear, his lips lingering against my neck.  
>"I haven't had you in my bed in days. I miss you my little Lily."<br>I roll my eyes turning to face him. A few days ago my heart would've skipped a beat at his words, but now I knew better. I love him, but now I'm more aware of his ulterior motives. I knew that even though I should trust him, I couldn't. I sit up in bed, moving his arm from me. I can feel his eyes drift up and down my bare body as the sheet falls down past my chest.  
>"Amelia..."<br>He whispers as I glance around the dimly lit room, for whatever reason, I can't bare to look at him. The basement is dark, but sunlight faintly flickers through the tiny window. I look over my shoulder and stare down at him, he's still laying in bed behind me. I breathe a deep breath.  
>"... Are you mad at me little flower?"<br>I don't know what I'm feeling, but it wasn't anger. I shake my head in protest.  
>"No..."<br>I whisper as I think of why I suddenly felt so weird being next to him. The only thing that comes to mind is that maybe everything has built up over time. Maybe him being the bad guy had taken its toll on our relationship. And perhaps finding out all of his little secrets had made my mind troubled. My eyes move to his and our gazes lock, I sigh. I wasn't mad at him, no, I was just tired of everything.  
>"... Loving you can be tiring Peter, and you've exhausted me. Everything has been building up, and it's over whelming."<br>His gaze suddenly turns kinder, the green in his eyes softening.  
>"Amalia, I am sorry. I am sorry for what I've put you through. You fight for me and I repay you with sarcasm, rudeness, and while I'm not good for you... I can't let you go."<br>I look away from him, finding his words to be too much for me to handle. I stare at the blanket and breathe a deep breath.  
>"I'll come back down here after I speak with Rumple."<br>I attempt to sit up, my plan is to brush past him and leave, but he stops me, not allowing me to get up.  
>"Don't leave like this. What has gotten into you? Why are you so cold?"<br>His voice raises a few octaves and his hands hold my shoulders. He stares at me, his chest rising and falling in an unspoken tension. I shrug my shoulders.  
>"I just want to save you Peter. I just don't want you to die, and I don't want to waste time laying down here when ever second that passes is a second closer to your death."<br>He looks down at me as thought he idea never crossed his mind. But why would he worry? He is Peter Pan and he never fails, why would he now? He knew that Felix and I wouldn't let him die, we are far too loyal to do that. I sigh.

"Let me go."

He doesn't speak, only rolls his eyes before letting go of me. I ignore the annoyance on his face, I didn't understand why the boy who was obsessed with staying young suddenly wanted to stall me. It was like he wanted me to take my time in getting the potion made. I get up from the bed, moving around the room to find my clothes. He'd really thrown them around the room last night after he'd decided to thank me. I change quickly ignoring the way his eyes watch me from afar. I wanted to ask him why he was stalling me... but I don't. I'm not in the mood for his head games. He was up to something and I knew it, Felix had told me that he'd gotten caught by the dark one on purpose. That it was all a distraction of some kind. He knew I wouldn't let him die, especially if he was here to remind me of how much I love him... I sigh before turning to face him.

"I'll come back down here after I talk to Rumple. After we figure out how to save you. I promise."

He smirks as his eyes trail up and down my body. He looks like he wants undress me again, but I push down any feelings of lust. I need to focus.

"Whatever you say little flower..."

He pauses as he lays back down in his bed, his hands behind his head.

"...Whatever you say."

"Rumple?"

I shout through the halls of his home. I had no idea if he was even home. He seemed to like his shop more than his home, and Belle always went with him. I freeze when I hear the sound of something falling. A loud thumping against the ground in its wake. My brow furrows as I glance around the hallway I now stood in.

"Rumple?"

I ask once more as I walk down the hall. When I reach the end of the hall I come across a kitchen, where Belle now stands. She is kneeling on the floor, using a broom to brush broken glass into a pan.

"Are you okay?"  
>I ask her while I make my way over to her. She smiles up at me, shaking her head 'yes'.<p>

"I'm fine, I just accidentally dropped a plate while I was doing dishes."

I smile as she gets up, all of the glass in the broom pan. She moves to the garbage dumping the pointy broken pieces into its dark bagged contents.

"Where have you been all night? Rumple was worried."

I feel guilty when she says this. I got so caught up in Peter that I hadn't thought to tell anyone that I'd even come home.

"I went to Granny's and when I was there I ran into Henry. He told me of a way to save Peter, I got excited, and came home to tell him. I guess I just lost track of time, I'm so sorry."

She gives me a small smile, shrugging her shoulders.

"It's fine. If you're looking for him, he's in the garden out back."

Rumple gardened? I couldn't imagine the 'dark one' in a garden. I give her a smile as I point to the door leading to the backyard.

"So he's back there?"

I ask as she nods.

"Yes, and he'll want to see you."

I give her a grateful smile.

"Thank you Belle."

I haven't seen this much greenery since I was in Neverland. It was glorious every piece of it flourishing with perfection. Flowers are everywhere, growing tall and beautiful. I find Rumpelstiltskin sitting on a bench while leaning into smell one of the white roses closest to him.

"This is beautiful Rumple."

I say this as I glance around in awe. I don't scare him when I speak, it's almost like he expected me.

"Thank you."

He states simply when I reach him. My body standing in front of his. I fold my arms across my chest and glance down at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was. I lost track of time."

He looks at me, with a blank expression on his face. He nods.

"I know you didn't do it on purpose. You were excited to tell my father of the plan that you and Henry concocted. The plan where I make you a special potion, a potion that mimics the water of Lake Nostos. The water of the lake from the enchanted forest."

My brow furrows as regret flickers through me. My son looks at me like he's never seen me before. I knew I should've come here last night... the second I came home I should've told him about the plan. He looks like he feels used... like the only reason we're talking is so I can use him. I close my eyes as realization hits me. To Rumpelstiltskin all I am is someone willing to use his magical knowledge to save the love of my life. The same man who'd abandoned his son... our son. I looked selfish... and what kind of mother abandons her child all so she can be with the man she loves? I open my eyes as I bite down on the bottom of my lip.

"Rumple... I'm sorry. I know this all seems so selfish of me. I shouldn't be using your smarts with magic, I should be getting to know you, not running around trying to save Peter every four seconds."  
>He raises his eyebrows, I don't think he expected me to apologize. I fold my arms tighter around me.<p>

"Henry told me of your plan. He seemed very excited to tell me. Something about how I needed to help my mother. I was a little shocked that he knew who you were."

I nod.

"I met him at Granny's, when I went to visit Wendy."

He gives me a slight laugh.

"You're friends with Wendy Darling?"

I nod once more.

"Yes, I need as many friends as I can get Rumple."

His grin grows.

"People who spend time with my father, tend to not have many friends."

I could argue that, but he knew better than anyone that Peter sometimes betrayed the people closest to him, all for self preservation.

"True."

I whisper as he gestures for me to sit next to him. He moves over slightly, giving me room to sit.

"I already made the potion. I was up all morning making it."

He murmurs this in a barely audible tone. He studies me intently as I give him a big smile. He'd made the potion already? Suddenly I was thankful for Henry telling him everything.

"Thank you Rumple. Really."

He sighs while shrugging his shoulders.

"There's just one thing I want to talk to you about before I give it to you..."

He pauses as I nod for him to continue with whatever it is he has to ask.

"... The magic that made him young, will not be reversed, however his cursed heart will. He will continue living, and his heart will grow strong again. He'll live a full life, and don't worry I've made sure he won't age."

It sounds too good to be true. Peter was going to get everything he wanted, and no one died in the process of giving him what he wanted.

"Is that all you wanted to tell me? Or is there something more?"  
>I ask him as I tuck some of my long brown hair behind my ear. Everything he told me sounded perfect, too perfect.<p>

"All magic comes with a price Amalia. He's up to something. He let us lock him up and he's done nothing to fight back. Don't you think that's strange? It seems like he's exactly where he wants to be. He has his little lost boy walking around Storybrooke, searching the woods for something. He's up to something Tiger Lily, and that's the price of giving him this potion. He might do something we'll regret later."

I clench my jaw... that's what I'd been worrying about this morning. The fact that he wanted to stall me. I did think it was weird that he'd brought Felix with him, but I'd originally thought he brought him here to motivate me. To have Felix keep my mind on the operation at hand. I didn't want to believe that Peter came here for a sinister reason. I wanted to believe that the only reason he'd followed us here was to stay young forever.

"What do we do then?"

Rumple's gaze grows a bit more serious. This is his new home, and the people he cares about are here. He doesn't want anything to happen to them, and I don't either.

"This potion won't take away his magic. If he's up to something, there's nothing we can do to stop him. He's stronger than all of us."

Peter was one of the most feared people in all of the realms, and he got that way through being ruthless. He was cruel, and seemed to always be one step ahead.

"He can't enact the curse again. Right?"

Rumple nods.

"Regina destroyed it."

I breathe a deep breath, feeling a wave of relief move through me.

"I will make sure that he doesn't do anything. Whatever he has planned, I'll make sure he doesn't succeed."

Rumple gives me a look of sympathy. As if he knows that I can't control Peter... which is true I can't.

"You can take him..."

I whisper.

"... If he was really as strong as he claims to be he would've been able to make the potion that you made, but he couldn't. He had to cross realms because you're the only person who can make potions like the one he needed. He's not as strong as he thinks he is. I'll make sure that he behaves, and if he is up to something, then I know you and the queen can knock him down a few pegs."

He looks up at me in awe, like he never dreamed that he'd hear someone other than Belle telling him such nice things. I believed in him, and he'd never heard a parent tell him that. Peter surely never told him that he was proud of him or that he believed in him.

"Thank you..."

He states breathlessly as his eyes focus on me.

"... I believe that you can do what you say. Peter Pan is ruthless, and if he's allowed you to live this long, clearly you mean something to him. But my father isn't to be trusted, so please keep your eye on him. I'll warn Regina, and I'll make sure that people know he's here. He won't hurt the people I love Amalia... even if he is my father."

I reach my hand out to touch his shoulder, resting my palm against his suit.

"I understand. He'll better be on his best behavior..."

I pause as I nod.

"... And if he's not then you can do whatever you have to, to keep the people you love safe."


	21. Chapter 21

My hand shook as my balled fist beats against the door of Peter Pan's room. In my fist is the potion that Rumpelstiltskin provided me with. I was going to save Peter Pan, and I was going to do it without the heart of the truest believer. I don't wait to hear him respond, I simply open the door after a few seconds.

When I open the door I see him, his green eyes focusing on me as he sits on the edge of his bed. I stand in the doorway, my body trembling as I watch him.

"I got the potion." I whisper as a smirk moves to his face. His gaze looks a bit dangerous when I enter his room, closing the door behind me. He'd been waiting for some sort of magic to keep him alive and young. He didn't fail at anything, and this time wasn't any different. He licks his lips as cruel intent moves to his face.

"Oh do you my little Lily?" His voice comes out as a taunt, seeming to dare me to give him the potion. I nod as I force my fist to open, palm up, so I can reveal the potion in my hand. I walk up to him holding the potion out for him to take. He doesn't hesitate in taking it from me, his smirk growing. He takes the top off of the potion and smiles at the vile containing blue liquid. I'd never noticed the color of the potion before, I think I was too caught up in the fact that Rumple actually did this for him. His eyes focus on the liquid, before pressing the vile to his lips. He grins at me. "Bottoms up." He whispers before he drinks the potion.

It only takes him a few seconds to down the entire vial and when he's finished, he looks at me. A look of triumph moves to his face, he doesn't look any different, but I know better than to assume that looking normal means being normal. He carelessly tosses the glass vile to the ground, causing it to shatter across the cold cement floor.

"Thank you Tiger Lily..." He whispers, his voice a bit more dangerous sounding than normal. His whole body language seems to have changed. Suddenly he looked like a predator stalking its prey, I just didn't know that I was the prey. He reaches out to me, pulling my body in against his. "... Thank you so much for helping me."

Now that I was closer to him, I could see the difference the potion made. I hadn't even noticed before how pale he'd been before. After drinking the potion he was a bit tanner, his skin having a healthy glow to it. His hair was more of a vivid brown, and his eyes were a much deeper and darker green than they'd been minutes ago. He moves his hands to my waist, pulling me in a bit closer. He chuckles darkly before pressing his lips to mine.

"You've always been so loyal... My little lost girl..." He growls against my lips, his tone harsher than before. "... I'm proud of you, but there's one thing you forgot..."

When he says this, I feel myself freeze. Suddenly I feel stupid; stupid because Rumple warned me about this happening. About Peter doing something naughty the second he was well enough to. Peter's smirk grows more when he sees the fear in my eyes. The fear that he'd put in them countless times before.

"... You forgot that I'm always one step ahead of the game."

What happens next, happens a bit too fast for me to properly register. The next thing I know, my back is up against a wall, and his body has mine pinned.

"What game?" I whimper in pain, as the wind gets knocked out of me. The impact of my back hitting the wall makes me feel a bit light headed. He takes my momentary hesitance as an invitation to bring our bodies back to the closeness they'd had seconds ago when we stood across the room.

"Neverland became real when I went there, and the only way I could stay there was if I had the heart of the truest believer. But then my son got in the way of me getting what I wanted. He killed me, and when you brought me back, I knew I needed to think of a way to get back at him, but not only him, everyone else in this bloody town.

For the last three days Felix has been planting enchanted objects in the ground. These objects will cause a cloaking spell, created by me. Once this spell is enacted the only magic that will work is mine. They may have taken Neverland from me, but I'm going to take Storybrooke from them."

My eyes widen when he says this, my breath hitches in my throat.

"What are you going to do to these people Peter?"

He doesn't respond at first, just moves his lips to mine. His kiss is dark and passionate; normally I would get distracted in a kiss like that, but not this time. I'd promised that I would keep my son safe, along with the people in this town. Peter couldn't do this.

"I'm going to make them wish they'd never ruined my plans. I'm going to make them wish I'd taken Henry's heart."

My brow furrows as he says this, a look of protest moving to my face. I want to hit him... I want to knock that smug look off of his face. He knew I'd save him, knew that I'd do all of this. He used my love against me. He'd done everything Rumple feared he'd do, and it was all my fault.

"No... Please don't. Peter, these people... They didn't ask for this. You tried to kill a little boy, you tried to kill your great-grandson, and you're punishing them for saving the child they all care for. This is wrong and you're better than this..." I pause as his gaze softens for a moment. I knew that he could be good... I'd seen it. Years ago, before we'd had Rumple, before he was Peter Pan, before I'd become Tiger Lily, he was a good man. And I know that deep down he still is. I had to hold onto that little tiny bit of hope.

"... I know that the man I fell in love with, back in the days where we were just struggling to get by, back when we lived in London, is still in there somewhere. That man wouldn't kill people all because he felt wronged.

I know you Malcolm. I know you're in there."

His jaw clenches when I say this, his gaze shifting from mine to the floor. He breathes a deep breath, his body still pinned up against mine.

"Amalia..." He whispers, his mouth moving inches from mine. "... You're right, I'm still here..." He presses his lips to mine, aggressively claiming my lips as his. "... And that's exactly why I'm going to do this.

Amalia... people walked all over me for years. And then you died, and when that happened I realized that I never wanted to feel that pain again. Power doesn't make me feel pain... It makes me feel in control, and I like that."

I lock my eyes with his, not knowing how to handle how close he is after hearing him talk like this.

"Don't do this. Please." I beg, even though I knew that begging wouldn't get me far, simply because Peter only finds begging to being part of his 'game'. He sighs.

"It's too late, little flower, it's already begun. Last night when you were down here with me, Felix set up everything. I had it timed so that the second my magic and health was restored, the enchanted objects would start working. The town is mine, Tiger Lily, and there's nothing you can do about it."

He moves from me, his body leaving mine. His eyes shift up and down my body as his cruel smile returns. I knew that look... It was his favorite trick. He gives me a wink before he disappears right before my eyes. He was good at appearing and disappearing at the most inopportune times. I groan in frustration as I move from the wall, I needed to get out of here, and I needed to warn Rumple.

***Peter's POV***

"Felix!" My voice echoes through the forest as my eyes dart around for the my right hand man. It only takes a second for him to show, his silhouette looking like a shadow in the darkness of the trees.

"It worked." He says this like he's surprised, which only amuses me.

"Of course it worked. Why would my plan have failed?" I ask as I take in my surroundings. It had been a while since I'd been in this forest. It was emptier than it used to be, and the trees seemed to be more vivid than I remembered.

"I'm shocked, because you're little flower was mad at you. She's been mad at you since we got here, and she didn't even want to help. She was having serious second thoughts." When he says this I feel a pang of guilt. If she was mad at me then, she'd be furious with me now. I should care, but a big part of me doesn't. I was winning, and I was going to prove to this whole town that they should've thought twice before messing with me.

"She'll get over it." I state simply, as I gesture for Felix to follow behind me. Last time I was in Storybrooke, I'd seen a home that was abandoned in the forest. It was this home that Felix had been staying in over the past few days. I knew I'd be safe here, because no one knew it existed. The house is in the middle of a clearing, with a barricade of trees that surrounding it. I smile when I look at the home; this would be where I'd plan my next move, where my vengeance would begin.

"Did you put the protection spell up around the house?" I ask Felix this as we approach the house. I'd designed a spell that would only allow myself, and certain others, to see the home. These are the only people who can get in. Felix mutters a 'yes' from behind me. "Good. Did you get our guest?" I ask him as we reach the front stairs of the house.

"Yes." He states while he follows me up the old, creaking boards of the stairs. I chuckle to myself, I couldn't wait to see their face, to see the look in their eyes. I open the front door, and hesitate in the doorway. I breathe in the old, musty forest smell the house had to offer. It reminded me of home, of Neverland. For a moment, I miss my home. The place I'd lived for over 300 years, the place where all my dreams came true. A feeling of being homesick flickers throughout my body. I hated not being there... I hated being here, and I hated that it was all because I'd failed in getting Henry's heart... I shake any anger out of my thoughts and decide, instead, that I should walk in my new home. Felix leads me inside, pointing to the dining room to my left. I move to where he's gestured, and smile at the person, bound by rope, sitting in one of the chairs surrounding a table in the center of the room. I hadn't seen this person in a few months, and it was strange to see them dressed in the clothes of this world...

"Ah, my little bird. How nice of you to join us." Wendy Darling's head turns to face me, a glare in her eye.

"What the hell are you doing?" She shouts this to me, her face not holding the amusement on mine. I simply chuckle.

"I'm assembling my favorite Neverland people, and you are all going to help me."

She rolls her eyes. "No one is going to do what you want. You don't have any power here Peter."

I raise my eyebrows when she says this. I take a few steps into the dinning room, causing her body to tense up.

"My dear bird, you are wrong about that. Thanks to Felix, the whole town is surrounded by magic that only I can use. I am in control."

Her eyes widen when I say this, her gaze as fearful as Tiger Lily's had been minutes ago.

"This isn't Neverland Peter... We aren't lost children."

I make my way to the chair that's closest to her, pulling it out for me to sit in. Felix had managed to make the home look decent. The furniture nowhere near as dusty as it would've been had we not planned this out.

"Yes you are, and I'm going to use that to my advantage. This is my chance to show everyone in Storybrooke who they messed with, and I'm going to make them wish they didn't."

Her jaw clenches. "Why are you telling me all of this? Why don't you tell Tiger Lily?"

I shrug my shoulders. "If I tell her all of this, she'll beg for me to stop, and I hate it when she pouts. I can't say no to my lovely little flower."

It's true, I've never been good at telling her no. The second she looks upset, I feel a part of me break. Wendy seems to think I'm joking, her gaze seems to only harden.

"That girl loves you; loves you more than anything. She went through a lot of trouble to save you, and this is how you thank her? By threatening her family? Your family."

Sometimes I hated Wendy Darling, and the fact that I'd been so open with her. She knew too much, and sometimes it was a bad thing. She always made me question what I was doing, and if it was right.

"She'll be joining us soon, little bird. My two favorite lost girls will help me with what needs to be done." She looks at me like I'm insane, and perhaps to her I am. After all I'd locked her in a cage for years...

"Why would we want to help you?"

I shrug my shoulders. "You won't have much of a choice in the matter. My magic can get you to do whatever I want you to, and you will."

A whole new level of fear moves through her pretty little face. Horror flooding her features.

"This is a whole new level of madness, even for you Peter."

I grin. "It's not madness my darling. It's a game."

Hours pass... I don't know exactly how many, all I knew was that I didn't know where Peter had gone. I told Rumple everything and he was surprisingly calm about all of it, but given that he'd expected it, I should've as well. He walks with me as we trudge through the woods. Peter would come here, if there was any place he'd go to think, it'd be here.

"I'm sorry." I state for the hundredth time today. We'd been walking for what felt like ages, and I knew it was all because of me. Rumple just shrugs his shoulders.

"I know what it feels like to have hope in him, and have him crush it. It's what he does."

I stop dead in my tracks, feeling frustration move through me. "I should've just listened to you. Guh, I'm just so stupid. I was blind, and I know that he does terrible things, but for some reason I thought he'd changed."

Rumple stops a few feet from me, turning slowly for face me. "He is different with _you_. I've seen it. He would've never let anyone else get away with the things you did to him back in Neverland. He does care for_ you_, but us.. Now that's a different story. No one else here, he cares for. He's just doing this because I killed him. He wants to get back at me."

I shake my head in protest as I walk across the foliage of the forest, until I am closer to him. "He's so used to being in power, and that power got to him. When you killed him, it was the first time that he didn't win. It was the first time he had to come to terms with the fact that Peter Pan can fail. He's doing this to prove to you that you winning was a one time thing. He wants to prove that he's still the most feared person in all the realms.

He's making an example of you, and of this town."

Rumple looks at me, taking in my words. He looks like he wants to respond, but when he goes to, someone else speaks for him.

"Couldn't have explained it better myself..." Peter states this from behind us, his voice carrying through the woods. I turn to face him, my movements quick and rushed. He had a smugness about him that he hadn't had before. "... My little flower knows me better than I know myself. This is why I love you."

I roll my eyes as his gaze shifts from me to Rumple. He gives his son an amused look before Rumple speaks.

"You come here just to hear the sound of your own voice? Or was there an actual reason for your appearance?" Peter nods.

"There is a reason I'm here. I came to pick my little flower up. I need her with me."

I fold my arms across my chest, glaring in his direction.

"She's not going anywhere with you." I've never heard Rumple speak in such a tone. Every word sounding like venom when it passed his lips. Peter chuckles darkly as he lifts his right hand. He rubs his pointer finger against his thumb, causing a loud snap to sound through our awkward, tension filled silence. It's when he snaps that I am no longer standing next to Rumple. I am now standing next to Peter, his left hand around my right arm. He pulls me in against him, and when I try to pull away, I find that I can't.

"No games Papa." Rumple shouts as he takes a few steps forward. Peter glances over at me, clearly not caring that our son is making his way over to us. He smirks down at me before sighing in boredom.

"But it's you're favorite game..." He lifts his right hand up, moving his fingers together as he'd done only moments ago. He was going to make us disappear before Rumple got to us... I try to break away once more, but I still can't move from his grasp. Peter holds his ground saying one final sentence before the world around me turns into shadow...

"...Follow the lady."

*** This is my final chapter of this story, but I promise that I'll write a sequel, that is if you want it :)


	22. Chapter 22

Hey guys!

I just wanted to let you know that the sequel to heartless is called Shadow, and I've posted it :) Please let me know what you think! I hope you all like it! :D


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